


Defender of Universes

by dimensionhoppingrose



Category: Doctor Who
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 18:43:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1993755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimensionhoppingrose/pseuds/dimensionhoppingrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all know Rose ended up back in her own universe to help save the world from the Daleks. But what happened before she got there? How did she become the leather-clad soldier who appeared on the street holding her gun like it was an old friend?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a small project I started during my "omg dimension-hopping Rose" phase (that hasn't quite ended yet). I'm just interested in what must have happened to turn into that leather-wearing quasi-soldier.
> 
> Any and all critique, comments, etc. are welcome. This is my first time trying a canon multi-chapter fic, and anything I can do to improve would be just lovely.

**_Five Months  
_** It was Pete, surprisingly, who came in to see her when all was said and done. 

It took three days for everything to finally come crashing down. As soon as they got home from the beach, Rose locked herself in her room, tossed her suitcases in the corner, and curled up in her bed. Every now and again she could hear someone rustling around outside her door, but no one ever knocked or tried to get her to come out. She had a feeling they were leaving food outside the door, but she never tried to get up to get it.

She wasn’t hungry. She wasn’t tired, but she still slept because really there was nothing else to do.

And of course when she slept, she saw  _him_. Fading away before her eyes. Never finishing that damned sentence.

God she hated him.

Finally on the third day she dragged herself out of bed to unpack. And that was when she found it — her super phone, shoved hastily into one of the smaller pockets of her suitcase. She pulled it out slowly, turning it in her hands as she remembered the day she’d gotten the phone, and the Doctor had ripped it from her hands almost as soon as they were out of the store and started upgrading it.

She could still see his look of intense concentration, his tongue sticking out between his teeth as he worked, eyes magnified by the glasses she knew for a fact he didn’t need, considering how much he babbled on about “superior Time Lord biology.”

And it was then that Rose snapped. A raw sound that wasn’t quite a yell but also wasn’t a sob tore up her throat, and she whipped the phone at the wall shattering it. The pieces fell to the floor, and she instantly began stomping on them, smashing them into the carpet as the tears slid, unnoticed, down her cheeks.

Trapped. She was trapped here. She was  _trapped_.

And he couldn’t even  _finish his god damn sentence_.

Eventually exhaustion and anguish and the fact that Rose hadn’t eaten in days finally caught up to her — her legs were shaking, and she allowed herself to sink to the floor, ignoring the bits of plastic (all that remained of her phone) that dug into her as she sat. She pressed her hands into her face and leaned forward, sobbing.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair.  _It wasn_ _’t fair_.

When her bedroom door opened, she fully expected it to be her mother, wrapping her arms around her and holding her tight and telling her, once again, that everything would be okay. Or maybe even Mickey standing awkwardly in the door, not quite sure what to do but wanting to offer whatever comfort he could.

She certainly hadn’t expected Pete to take her by the shoulders and force her upright again. She met his eyes for a brief second before collapsing into his hold completely, all but clinging to him as she cried. To his credit, he handled it well — he hugged her tight, smoothing her hair back, and thankfully he didn’t bother with the empty, “It’ll be okay.”

Eventually the sobs died into small sniffles, and for the first time Rose allowed herself to feel faintly embarrassed at the fact that it was Pete who had come in. Sure, she and him had developed an understanding since she’d been trapped here, and she’d even started calling him Dad after slipping up one night. But he was horribly awkward and obviously knew nothing about having a heartbroken daughter. Rose felt bad about putting him this position.

“So…” He broke the silence after a moment. “What was this, exactly?”

He’d picked up a piece of her phone. “M’mobile,” Rose muttered, pulling away and wiping her eyes. “S’a…long story. Sorry. I’ll pay for the carpet.” She was pretty sure she’d ruined it. There’d be no getting some of the phone pieces out.

“Oh it’s alright, I never much cared for this color anyways. Jackie picked it out, insisted it was lovely. My Jackie, I mean. My old Jackie.” Rose had to smile a bit at that, though it was mostly empty. “Anyways.” He finally looked up at her, managing a small smile of his own. “It must be uncomfortable on the floor. Come on.”

He helped her stand and get around the shattered mobile, and they sat down on the bed together. Rose leaned into him without really thinking, resting a head on his shoulder. He didn’t seem to mind though — he just reached his arm around her shoulders, giving her a hug.

“Stuck here,” she muttered finally as more tears forced their way out. “M’stuck here, and I know it sound selfish—”

“It doesn’t,” Pete assured her at once. “Believe me, it doesn’t.” She looked up at him in surprise, blinking through her tears. “We may have had our problems, but I never wanted to live in a world without Jackie. It’s not selfish. I understand.”

Rose rubbed her eyes again, taking a breath to try and calm herself. “I’m never gonna see him again.” She still hadn’t quite come to terms with that fact.

“Says who?”

_That_  earned Pete a weird look. “Says  _him_. It’s impossible, the walls…”

“Do you want to see him again, sweetheart?”

The term of endearment was a surprise — usually he just used her name. “More than anythin’,” she whispered, ducking her head as tears filled her eyes once more. Pete tucked his fingers under her chin, tilting her head back up to look at him.

“Then you do whatever you have to do to make that happen. Do anything. Try anything.”

Rose blinked at that, too stunned for a moment to actually formulate a thought.

_Try anything._

Finally she took a deep breath, her brain connecting pieces together. “That job offer with Torchwood still on the table?”

Pete smiled at that. “Of course. Whenever you’re ready to start.”

“Tomorrow,” she said at once.

“Okay, well. In that case you might want to eat because I’m fairly certain your mother won’t let you out of the house until you do.”

That earned Pete a bit of a wider smile, though it was nowhere close to the usual thousand-watt Rose Tyler grin. He also got a hug, though. So that made up for a bit.

“Thank you.”

∞×∞×∞×∞

“…You want to  _what_?”

Rose had to admit, she had been expecting this. “Rebuild the dimension cannon,” she repeated patiently, and Mickey just stared at her.

“You want to  _what_?”

She sighed, rolling her eyes a bit. “Rebuild. The. Dimension cannon. Come on Mickey, keep up, I need your help with this. You were around the first time, you saw how it worked.”

“Yeah, but Rose, we tried all of this when we first got stuck here, remember? It didn’t work. And the Doctor said—”

“I don’t  _care_  what the Doctor said,” Rose cut him off, eyes flashing at the mention of the Time Lord. “Look, he’s brilliant, he really is, and as great as the brilliance is and as much as it helps him, it also limits him because he only sees the world one way and he thinks it’s the right way. Me, I’m an idiot. But it means I see the world in multiple ways and  _that_  is what is goin’ to help here.”

Mickey didn’t have much to say that except, “You’re not an idiot.”

Rose snorted, looking around at the dismantled computers. “I am when it comes to this stuff. But that’s what the scientists for. And books. So are you in or not?”

Mickey rubbed the back of his neck, sighing. “You know I am, Rose.” He was just scared of what it’d do to Rose when it didn’t work.

She smiled sweetly, kissing his cheek. “Thank you.”

**_Eight Months  
_** Rose only learned what she absolutely had to.

She didn’t understand most of the science behind the dimension cannon, and while she would have loved to someday, she didn’t have the  _time_  to become a rocket scientist or anything. As long as people used layman’s terms she could basically figure everything out.

And she did spend a lot of time studying. That helped.

“Where was this determination when you were failin’ science?” Jackie asked as she sat down next to Rose with a groan. The younger Tyler didn’t even look up from her textbook.

“I was a lot less motivated and a lot more interested in makin’ out behind the bleachers.”

“Oh don’t remind me. When was the last time you slept?” The circles under Rose’s eyes were deep and dark. It was a bit frightening.

“M’fine, Mum.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Rose didn’t say anything. “You know you’re not gonna do anyone any good if you get back to the Doctor and drop dead of exhaustion. Just sayin’.” Again, no answer. Jackie sighed, plucking the book from her daughter’s hands.  _That_  got a reaction.

“Hey—!”

“You’ve studied enough and Tony wants some attention from his big sister. He feels neglected.”

Jackie knew that would get Rose, and she was right. A small smile pulled at her lips, and after a moment she scooted closer to her mother, resting a hand over Jackie’s swollen stomach to feel the baby kicking.

“And I don’t suppose I can talk you out of  _Tony_?”

“What’s wrong with Tony?” Jackie said, clearly affronted.

“Tony Tyler, Mum?  _Really_?”

“I think it’s cute.”

Rose rolled her eyes. Jackie had  _always_  loved the name Tony. Rose knew she had been lucky to be born female — she had escaped that one. “You know I’m old enough to be his  _mum_. People are gonna think he’s mine.”

“Oh I hope not, I want him to look exactly like Pete.”

“Why, so you can both have one that looks like you?” Rose had grown up  _constantly_ hearing how she looked exactly like Jackie. It had gotten a little annoying after a while. Not that Rose had ever taken it as an insult or anything. Jackie was beautiful.

“Oh hush, you’re too pretty to look like me.” Jackie waved her off, and Rose rolled her eyes.

“Shut up,” she murmured, resting her head on Jackie’s shoulder, suddenly exhausted. Which was exactly what Jackie had been aiming for. She reached up behind her, pulling the blanket off the back of the couch and draping it over Rose’s small form. She’d lost quite a bit of weight. It worried Jackie.

“You’re not gonna do anyone any good if you drop dead of exhaustion,” she repeated in a whisper, well aware that Rose was already fast asleep.

Not that she would’ve listened anyways.

Rose woke up about an hour later. Jackie had managed to shift her so she was laying on the couch, and she could hear her mother and Pete arguing in the kitchen.

“…I don’t know  _why_  you encouraged her—”

“She needs to do  _something_. It’s better than her being depressed and wasting away in her room—”

“No, instead she’s killin’ herself tryin’ to get that damn dimension cannon workin’—”

“She’s not  _killing_  herself—”

“She’s completely obsessed! I realize you’re still learnin’ a lot of her little quirks, but considerin’ this is one she inherited  _from you_  I’d think it’d be obvious — when she gets her mind on somethin’, she doesn’t  _let go_. Hell when she was eight she asked why the sky was blue and when she didn’t like the answer I gave she made me take her to the library so she could spend the entire day tryin’ to find the answer there.” Rose heard Pete snort at that. “Yeah, that’s funny, that’s harmless.  _This_  isn’t however. She spends at  _least_  four nights a week at Torchwood, and you know she isn’t sleepin’ when she’s there, she’s gonna make herself sick at this rate.”

“And if you know all that then you also know that there’s no point in trying to  _stop_  her.”

That seemed to throw Jackie a bit. “She’s just like you,” she finally muttered again, and Rose imagined she was shaking her head. “Always up until all hours of the night tinkerin’ away with one mad idea or another.”

“And in this universe that made me rich. So I wouldn’t complain too much if I were you.” Rose smirked when she heard Jackie slap his arm. “I know you’re worried about her. But forcing her to stop isn’t going to do any good and I think you know that better than anyone. All we can do is keep an eye on her and try to keep her from driving herself too far into the ground.”

Rose let her eyes slip shut — she was asleep before Jackie could even answer.

**_Nine Months  
_** Four months after the Doctor disappeared from the beach, the dimension cannon was fully operational once more.

Well, in theory at least. It still needed to be tested.

And that was where Rose came in.

“So what do you think will happen if the walls really are closed and you can’t get through?” Mickey asked as Rose prepared to go.

“Well, either the thing just won’t work or I’ll run into some physical barrier or something and possibly kill myself.” She shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out.”

That did  _not_  sound reassuring, but Mickey knew there was no stopping her. She took the small device, walking to the center of the room while everyone else clicked away on their computers. “Dimension cannon test, take one,” one of the scientists called for the cameras. Mickey, swallowed hard, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Commencing test in three…two…one.”

Rose hit the button — and disappeared in a flash of light. Mickey had half a second to be shocked before she was back rather suddenly, stumbling and hitting the ground.

“Rose!”

Mickey hurried forward, grabbing her shoulders as she slumped, threatening to fall over completely. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” he whispered as she gasped for breath. He could feel her shaking under his grip. One of the doctors was nearby, on standby in case something went horribly wrong. He hovered uncertainly as Rose slowly recovered herself.

“I’m okay,” she murmured, finally steadying a bit, blinking to bring Mickey into focus. “M’alright. That was…that was just a bit rough.”

“What happened? Did you go anywhere?”

She shook her head, rubbing her eyes and raising her voice for everyone to hear. “It was just…just dark for a second, then I bounced right back here.”

It had failed. Mickey couldn’t say he was really surprised. “Alright, come on.” He helped her stand. “We’ll let the scientists readjust things and try again tomorrow, you need to let the doctor check you out—”

“No, I’m fine,” Rose said at once, shaking Mickey off. She wobbled a bit, but stayed upright. “I’m fine,” she said again, directing it at the doctor who was hovering. “I’m fine.”

**_Eleven Months  
_** “No.”

“Rose—”

“No.”

“If you want to work here, you have to actually work here. And that includes—”

“I’m  _not_  learning how to shoot a gun,” Rose interrupted again, her voice firm. “I’m  _not_.”

“Part of being here and being an agent is knowing how to shoot a gun,” Pete repeated patiently. “I can’t keep letting you go out onto the field unarmed—”

“It’s  _fine_ , most of the aliens we’ve encountered have been peaceful.” Pete just raised an eyebrow, looking at the thick bandage wrapped around Rose’s arm. The last one  _hadn_ _’t_  been peaceful. Thankfully Mickey and Jake  _did_  know how to use a gun. “I don’t need a gun.”

“Then you’re not allowed back out on the field.” Pete knew that would kill her. Rose didn’t handle being trapped behind a desk well.

“That’s not—!”

She was cut off by Pete’s mobile ringing, and he sighed as he looked at the caller ID before answering. “Hey Jacks, can this — what?  _What_?!” Rose jumped as Pete stood quite suddenly, knocking his chair over in his haste. Oh god. “Okay, okay, just — just have the driver bring you to the — of course you’re already doing that. Of course I’m an idiot. Okay, I’ll meet you there.”

“Mum in labor?” Rose couldn’t help but be  _slightly_  amused as Pete stumbled around his desk, grabbing his coat. Oh she couldn’t let him drive. “Dad, Dad, Dad.” She caught up with him, grabbing his arm. “Give me your keys. I’ll drive.”

∞×∞×∞×∞

Tony Tyler was born at two-thirty-two a.m. the next morning.

Nearly thirteen hours of labor — beat the hell out of Rose’s eight, she noted with some glee. Maybe  _now_  Jackie would stop with the “I was in labor with you for eight hours” shpeal. Mickey had stayed in the waiting room with Rose for as long as he could, but eventually he had to get home to his grandmother. Rose promised to call him when she knew something.

Pete looked absolutely exhausted when he walked out, but he was grinning brightly. Rose had just about fallen asleep in her seat, but at the sound of the footsteps her eyes snapped open, focusing on Pete, and she jumped up.

“Well?” Not that she needed to ask. The grin said it all.

“Six pounds, nineteen inches, and he’s already got a head of hair. And a set of lungs.”

“Oh brilliant!” Rose threw her arms around Pete, hugging him tight, and he just about lifted her off the ground in his enthusiasm.

“Come on, Jackie wants you to see him.”

Rose locked both her arms around one of Pete’s, her grin matching his as he led her to Jackie’s room. The woman looked absolutely wiped out, but she was still sitting up and holding a small bundle of blankets, smiling rather stupidly as she cooed.

“Oh look, and here’s your big sister now.” Rose wrapped her arms around Jackie, hugging her tight, and the older woman shifted so her daughter could join them in bed. “Well it took about fifteen years, but I finally got you the sibling you wanted.”

Rose snorted, resting her head on Jackie’s shoulder as she reached out, touching a finger to the baby’s tiny knuckles. Tony Tyler made a small noise, lips puckering up a bit, and she laughed quietly. “He’s so cute.”

“Mmm. He looks just like his daddy.”

“Poor kid,” Pete spoke up jokingly, and Jackie shot him look.

“Just like his handsome, idiot daddy.”

**_Thirteen Months  
_** Tony  _really_  liked to cry.

Not that Rose had to hear it much — she had an entire wing of the mansion basically to herself, set off from everyone else. It even had its own small kitchen. She wanted to move out, but she didn’t want to leave Jackie quite yet, so this was the best she could do.

Anyways the distance didn’t  _quite_  drown Tony out. Sh could still hear him crying away, unhappy with anything his frazzled parents tried to do to comfort him.

“How long has it been?” She asked as she stood in the door of the nursery, watching Pete uselessly bounce the baby around. That seemed to make it worse.

“Two hours.” The man sounded close to tears himself. Rose smiled, stepping in and holding her arms out.

“Go have a drink or somethin’. Lemme try.”

If anything, Tony cried louder as he was passed off, but Rose just cradled him gently, rocking him as she began humming gently. It took a minute, but finally the cries tapered off into small whimpers, and then silence.

Pete looked positively amazed. After a few minutes of silence, Jackie poked her head in as well. “Is it over?”

“How did you do that?”

Rose nearly laughed at both of them. “Okay, Dad I understand, but Mum you’ve  _done_  this before.”

“You never cried! It was kinda weird actually.”

Unbelievable. Rose shook her head. “I’ve got him. You two go sleep. You look exhausted.”

They left, and Rose settled down in the arm chair in the corner, drawing her legs up and resting Tony against her thighs. He squirmed, but stayed quiet, and when Rose offered him his finger he gripped it with the strength only a baby possessed.

“So where were we? Oh right, I was tellin’ you about New Earth and gettin’ possessed by a bitchy trampoline…”

As she told Tony about New Earth, her eyes drifted over to the window, zeroing in on the stars twinkling away overhead. After a certain time, Pete ordered that all outside lights be turned off so the stars could shine. He’d done that specifically for Rose after he’d found her on her balcony, crying because she couldn’t see anything in the sky.

After all, the stars were all she had left.

“So  _then_  she flew back into my body, and I kind of lost track of what was happenin’ after that, but the Doctor told me that he—”

She cut off as the star she’d zeroed in on suddenly blinked out.

It didn’t just go behind a cloud, either. It simply…disappeared. Gone, as if it had never existed.

And then the ones around it began following suit.

“ _What_?”

Tony squawked as she uprooted him, setting him down hurriedly in his crib before running out, straight back to her own wing. She found the telescope Pete had gotten her for her birthday, throwing the bag over her shoulder and running out onto the balcony. And she began climbing up to the roof. Jackie hated it when she did that, but the balcony simply wasn’t high enough for her.

She pulled herself up over the edge, setting up the telescope hurriedly, her eyes on the sky. There were still stars, at least, but even as she watched more continued to blink out.

But stars didn’t just  _disappear_. That didn’t make any sense.

Finally she was able to look into the telescope, getting a closer look at what was going on in the sky.

“Oh this is wrong,” she murmured as she straightened up, digging her mobile out of her pocket. “This is very, very wrong.”

She hit the first speed dial — Pete — and put the phone to her ear as it rang. He answered a moment later, sounding groggy. “ _Rosie I realize the house is big, but do you really have to **call** me_—”

“I’m on the roof. Something’s happening.”

There was a rustle, and a moment later Pete sounded much more awake. “ _What is it?_ ”

“I…honestly don’t know.”


	2. The First Jump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dimension cannon is operational, and Rose has her first jump. Warning: This chapter is slightly graphic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on a graphic by Tumblr's badwolfrun. It was amazing and I claim no ownership of it.

The stars were going out.

Nobody knew how or why, but it was happening. Torchwood was working overtime to try and figure out the cause — Rose herself hadn’t left the office in nearly a week — but it was almost impossible to track. Stars going out was completely new for everyone, even Rose.

They didn’t know what was happening. And they didn’t know how to stop it.

“Why don’t you come home?” Pete suggested quietly as he stood in Rose’s office door, watching her type away furiously. She  _hated_  not knowing what was going on — work was the only thing keeping her mind off her ignorance right then.

“I will when I’m done.”

“You said that last night too.”

“Well I wasn’t  _done_  yet—”

“Rose!” Mickey’s voice echoed down the hall, and a moment later he crashed into Pete. “Whoops, sorry boss. But you know what, good, you need to see this too.”

“See what?” Pete asked as Rose jumped up, and they followed Mickey down the hall.

“Nobody knows what happened, one minute everythin’ was fine and then suddenly the readings were off the scale…”

The dimension cannon room was a flurry of activity when they walked in. Scientists running from computer to computer, reading signals and monitoring spikes that Rose only vaguely understood.

But she knew exactly what it meant.

 

“The dimension cannon is workin’.” Her voice was low, full of awe.

“That’s what they said, yeah. But no one’s sure yet, obviously we need to test it to make sure—”

“I’ll go,” Rose said at once, already stepping forward, but Pete grabbed her arm.

“You haven’t slept in days, maybe you should wait—”

“Wait for  _what_?” Rose asked in disbelief. “The dimension cannon is  _working_ , I need to take advantage of it!”

“And you can do that when you’re well-rested and thinking clearly,” Pete said patiently. Rose blew out a long breath, trying to stay calm.

“The dimension cannon is  _working,_ ” she repeated for a third time. “It’s  _working,_  and we haven’t done anythin’ different to  _make_ it work. That means there is somethin’  _wrong_  — wrong with the universes, wrong with the walls separatin’ them. There isn’t  _time_  to sleep, if the universe is fallin’ apart than we need to do somethin’ about it.”

“I agree,” Pete said evenly. “But that doesn’t mean you should go running in half-cocked. You said it yourself, there are  _multiple_  universes out there. You have no way of knowing  _where_  you’re going to end up, and if you end up somewhere dangerous then you need to be ready. And that includes getting some sleep.” Rose hesitated at that, finally coming down from the euphoria of the dimension cannon being functional. “We’ll run a test first thing in the morning. But tonight you need to come home and  _sleep_. Okay?”

Rose took a deep breath, closing her eyes and nodding. “Okay. Let’s go home.”

Jackie had just gotten Tony down to sleep when she heard the door open. She hurried down to the common area, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw her exhausted daughter.

“Oh  _Rose_ ,” she breathed, throwing her arms around the younger Tyler and hugging her tight.

“Mum, it’s workin’.” Rose pulled back to look at her mother — there was a shine in her eyes that Jackie hadn’t seen in quite some time. “The dimension cannon, it’s  _working_!”

“What?” Jackie blinked, stunned.

“There was some activity tonight,” Pete corrected. “We haven’t actually run a test yet—”

“But it’s more than we’ve seen in  _months_!” Rose was clearly excited by all of this. “Everythin’s been dead but now all of a sudden there’s activity, that has to mean somethin’! We’re runnin’ a test in the mornin’.”

Jackie didn’t quite know what to say. “Hey, hold on.” She grabbed Rose’s hand as Rose tried to hurry towards the stairs. “Come on, let’s have some tea before you go to bed.”

“ _Fine_ …” Rose sighed as Jackie dragged her towards the kitchen.

Jackie kept her for another hour, hammering her with questions about the dimension cannon. Apparently the fact that it had suddenly started working was suspicious.

“I mean, really, how do you know it’s not a trap or somethin’? Whatever’s makin’ the stars go out could be…targetin’ Torchwood, or somethin’—”

“Or maybe the walls comin’ down is just a side effect of the stars,” Rose argued. “And if that’s the case then I  _have_  to go. I have to find the Doctor, he can  _fix_  this.” And no, maybe that wasn’t the _only_  reason she was going to look for him, but it was no less important than her other motives.

Someone needed to take care of this planet. And it might as well be her.

She was the defender of the earth, after all.

∞×∞×∞×∞

Jackie insisted on coming in the next morning to watch the test run. Rose did her best to ignore her mother, standing in the back, as the scientists prepared her for what could very well be her first successful jump.

“And remember, it’ll take—”

“Thirty minutes to recharge, yeah yeah.” Rose waved the man off impatiently. “I know, gone through this shpeal four times already. Come on, let’s just do this.”

Everyone stepped back, leaving Rose alone in the center of the room, and she stood tall, taking a deep breath. She was dressed in comfortable clothes today, a hoodie and jeans and tennis shoes. Just in case she had to run.

“Dimension cannon test, take fourteen. Commencing in three…two…one…”

Rose hit the button, and her vision was consumed by light, just as it had thirteen times before.

But this time when it faded, she wasn’t staring back into the pitying, disappointed face of the Torchwood scientists.

“ _Yes_!”

Exuberant as she was, she didn’t even stop to take stock of exactly  _where_  she was. She wasn’t in Torchwood.  _She wasn_ _’t in Torchwood_. It had  _worked_! She had jumped! She shoved the button into her sweatshirt pocket, finally looking around — and sucking in a sharp, startled breath when she saw her surroundings.

It had probably been a forest at one time, but the trees had long since died, leaving only the rotted trunks behind. In the distance she could see the remnants of buildings, hovering on the landscape like skeletons, and the sky above her head was dark — not nighttime, but as if the clouds were just black, blocking out the sun.

It was disturbing.

It was also  _silent —_ the type of silence that seemed to press down on her eardrums, almost suffocating her. She could hear her heartbeat pounding away in her ears, and she forced herself to breathe evenly, trying to keep her panic in check.

Clearly this wasn’t the right place. She just had to survive half an hour so she could get back.

That should be easy, considering she was alone—

_Grrrrr_ …

Or not. She whipped around at the sound, her heart jumping to her throat when she saw what was approaching her.

They had…probably been human at one time. But evolution or disease or  _something_  had mutated them into hunched over, yellow-eyed, clawed beasts, their pointy teeth bared as the growled and closed in on Rose.

“Oh… _damn it_.”

She turned and ran, and one of the… _things_  gave a loud howl before leading the pack to pursue her. She was fast — she’d run with the Doctor, she  _had_  to be fast — but after only a few minutes it became obvious that those things were faster.

She wasn’t going to survive half an hour.

“Get down!”

At the sound of the voice she hit the ground automatically, and a moment later a gunshot echoed through the air. Then a rough hand grabbed her by her hood, dragging her up.

She didn’t fight. She ran with the man, surprised when they weren’t immediately pursued. “Why aren’t they followin’?” She called to the man, slightly breathless. He didn’t answer, just pulled her off the path, and after another minute they ducked into a decrepit old shack, and he slammed the door shut behind them, shoving an old couch up to block the door.

Rose dragged her fingers through her hair, catching her breath to speak. “What the  _hell_  were those things?”

The man whipped around to look at her. “You’re jokin’, right?”

“I’m not from around here,” Rose replied flatly, shoving her hands into her pockets to finger the trigger for the dimension cannon. The man just stared at her for a moment before shaking his head.

“They’re ferals. Where are you from that you haven’t seen them before?”

She sighed, her shoulders dropping. “Somewhere far away.”

“Well that’s a place I want to go,” the man said gruffly, moving quickly around the cabin. “We don’t have much time, they’ll track us here.”

“They weren’t chasin’ us before.”

“I killed the alpha, it’ll take them a bit to reorganize. But they have our scent, there’s no rush for ‘em now.”

As the man spoke, he threw things into a canvas bag, moving at a quick clip. He’d clearly done this before, multiple times. “What can I do?” Rose asked, stepping forward. This was her fault. She wanted to help him get away.

He tossed another bag in her direction. “Any food or tools or anything that looks useful goes in the bag. We’ve got about three minutes before we run.”

Right then. Rose hurried over to the cabinets, digging out anything that looked edible and tossing it in. “I’m Rose, by the way,” she introduced herself over her shoulder.

“Charlie,” he called back. “Nice to meet you.”

Three minutes later exactly, Charlie was shoving the couch away and they were out again, running once more. In the distance, Rose could hear howling.

“Is that them? The ferals?”

“Probably a pack, yeah.”

“How many are there?”

Charlie gave her another weird look. “Where’d you say you were from?”

“I didn’t.”

He stared at her for another moment before looking away. “Let’s just say there are more of them than there are us.”

That was kind of what Rose had been afraid of. The trigger suddenly felt heavy in her pocket, and she swallowed hard, wondering how much longer she had left. She made a note next time to wear a watch so she could track the time.

“So where are we going?”

“There’s a river nearby, relatively low current so we can wade in it and that should wipe our sent—”

Charlie was cut off quite suddenly as a feral, which had been hiding unnoticed in one of the trees, jumped down from its branch, landing on top of him with a sickening  _thud_.

“ _No_!” Rose shrieked as it clawed at the man’s throat. She dove for his fallen gun and, without a second thought, whipped it up and fired.

She missed by a mile, of course, but the feral acknowledged her as a threat and abandoned Charlie, leaving him to fall to the ground. Rose managed to dodge the first wild dive, though she didn’t get away completely unscathed — its claws left a long gash in her arm, but adrenaline masked the pain as she brought the gun up again and fired one more. This time the target was closer — she didn’t miss.

One more shot — in the head to make sure the thing was really dead — and she ran to Charlie, who was on the ground, clutching uselessly at his throat as he gurgled out each painful breath.

“Sh, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Rose whispered, yanking her sweatshirt off and pressing it against the wound. No, it wasn’t. He was dying, and even if they’d had any kind of medical supplies Rose wouldn’t have been able to save him.

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” she whispered over and over, completely unaware of the tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

Charlie wasn’t in pain for long, at least. It was only a few more minutes before his eyes dimmed, his hands falling to his sides. He was dead.

Rose didn’t pull her sweatshirt away from his neck though, didn’t stop applying pressure to the wound. She just sat there, staring at his lifeless body, determinedly ignoring the lump in her throat.

He was dead. He was dead and it was all her fault. If she had never come here, maybe he would have lived to see another day.

It was all her fault.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there before she became aware of the beeping coming from her sweatshirt pocket. The dimension cannon was recharged. It was ready to go, automatically programmed to bring her home again.

She was numb as she untangled her sweatshirt from Charlie’s throat, finding the trigger and hitting the button.

A flash of light…and she was back.

“ _Rose_!”

Jackie’s screech shattered the stunned silence that fell over the room, and it was only then that Rose realized what a sight she was — covered in blood and missing her sweatshirt.

Mickey grabbed Jackie as the doctors darted forward to tend to Rose — who made no effort to pick herself up off the floor. “S’not mine,” she muttered, staring at the tiles as she was poked and prodded.

“Some if it must be.” One of them held up her injured her arm, and she turned her head to look at it, just staring. As if it  _wasn_ _’t_ her arm.

“Oh. Yeah.”

Eventually they realized she wasn’t moving on her own, and a stretcher was brought in to take her down to the med lab so they could give her a full exam. Other than the gash in her arm (which needed nine stitches), and the possible shock she was in, she was absolutely fine.

Pete brought in a change of clothes for her, and told her she was going home with Jackie — no arguments. She didn’t even try to offer any. She barely had the energy to change.

“Ready to go?” Pete asked quietly when he looked back around the curtain and saw Rose sitting on the edge of the bed in fresh clothes, cradling her injured arm. When he received no response he stepped forward, helping her off the bed and carefully leading her towards the door. Jackie and Mickey were waiting out in the hall — the woman didn’t hesitate to throw her arms around her daughter, holding her tight.

Rose gave no reaction other than to tilt her head so her cheek was resting on Jackie’s shoulder.

The ride home was quiet. Pete ordered a car for them, and Jackie and Rose settled in the backseat together. Jackie kept an arm around Rose’s shoulder the entire time.

Tony was sleeping when they got in, so Jackie left him in the care of the nanny, bringing Rose up to her wing. “We’ll get you somethin’ to eat,” she was saying as they walked through the halls, “and then we’ll get you changed and tucked into bed, and if you want I’ll stay with you, and we can just spend the rest of the day watchin’ bad telly, just like we did when you were little, do you remember?”

Still no answer. But Jackie hadn’t really been expecting one. She settled Rose on her bed and went into the kitchen area to start cooking. “We really need to get you some more food,” she muttered as she dug through the cabinets. Rose looked up to watch her, and her mind unwillingly flashed back to watching Charlie run around, trying to pack before the ferals came.

Her stomach turned unpleasantly, and she looked away, her eyes focusing on her bandaged arm instead.

And again the memories flashed through her mind — the feral coming down on Charlie, ripping his throat out, the sound of the blood gurgling in his throat as he tried desperately to keep breathing…

In a flash, Rose was running to the en-suite, throwing herself at the toilet and barely making it in time as she threw up. It took a moment, but finally she coughed and sputtered as her stomach settled again. She squeezed her eyes shut, sucking in a sharp, unsteady breath.

“Ssshhh, it’s alright, just breathe,” Jackie coaxed gently as Rose gasped, trying to catch her breath. She knelt down behind her daughter, smoothing gentle circles into her back. “It’s okay, it’s alright. Deep breaths.”

Rose leaned back into her mother’s touch, letting her eyes flutter shut. She was so tired…

“Come on sweetheart, you’re too big for me to carry you to bed. Up you go…”

She groaned as Jackie helped her up, stumbling a bit and all but collapsing into bed. She was asleep before Jackie had even tucked her in.

Her dreams warped and twisted the memories. It wasn’t just  _one_  feral attacking Charlie, but dozens, ripping him to pieces, the blood flying everywhere, and no matter what Rose did, nothing could distract them. Nothing could pull them away.

And suddenly it wasn’t Charlie anymore. It was the Doctor as she had last seen him, with the amazing flyaway hair and boy-ish face. As Rose watched the ferals clawed into him, ripping away at his suit and his skin, and a scream tore through her throat—

“Rose!  _Rose_!”

“ _NO—!_ ”

Rose’s eyes flew open as she screamed, shooting up in bed, and Jackie’s arms instantly went around her, holding her tight and rocking her. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Jackie whispered as Rose curled up in her arms, pressing her face into Jackie’s shirt and breaking down at last. “It’s okay, sh, it’s okay, you’re okay, it’s okay…”

Jackie was worried, understandably. Rose had seen a  _lot_  of things when she’d traveled with the Doctor, and Jackie knew a lot of it hadn’t been good, even if Rose had never told her.

For her to be  _this_  upset about something she had seen…it had to be big.

Finally Rose started to calm, though she made no effort to pull herself out of Jackie’s arms. Her breath was still hitched, uneven, a fine tremor running through her entire body.

“You’re okay,” Jackie continued to murmur, smoothing Rose’s hair back. “You’re okay, you’re safe, you’re okay.”

Rose whimpered, turning to press her face into Jackie’s shoulder. Yes,  _she_  was okay.  _She_ was safe. But in another universe, a man was dead because she had come in at the wrong time and he’d had to save her.

A man was dead.

And it was all her fault.


	3. Bad Wolf Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose recovers from her first jump and prepares for a second, where she stumbles into a town with a rather...strange problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a slow chapter, but not every jump can be angsty and traumatizing, right?

“I want to learn how to use a gun.”

Pete looked up from his paperwork, understandably surprised by the declaration. Not a week earlier Rose had been insisting that she didn’t need a gun. And now she was here asking to learn how to use one.

Not for the first time, Pete wondered what exactly had happened to her during that jump.

But she refused to talk about it no matter how much they asked. So it was all left to the imagination.

Which wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

“Okay,” Pete said after a moment.

He went down to the shooting range with her, arranging for her to spend the day with one of the instructors. Rose was basically a perfect student — she absorbed everything with rapt attention, repeating everything he said back to him without missing a beat. The morning was spent learning how to take a gun apart and put it back together, clean it and take proper care of it, load it, and so on. The gun felt weird in Rose’s fingers, but she adjusted quickly, ignoring the feeling.

As much as she hated the idea of a gun, she needed it. She needed to be able to defend herself she ever got into trouble again (which there was no doubt in her mind that she would).

She hoped the Doctor would understand.

They stopped for lunch, and the afternoon was spent learning how to shoot. Rose wasn’t nearly as good at that as she was at takin care of a gun. By the end of the day she was just barely hitting the target.

“You’re still doin’ really well,” the instructor assured her when he saw the frustration shining in her eyes. “It’s only your first day. You just need practice, that’s all.”

Every day of the next week was spent down at the shooting range, practicing until her hands were practically vibrating and the imprint of the grip was pressed into her skin. Rose knew she would never be an expert shooter, but she could at least aim and shoot with a good amount of accuracy.

“Very good,” the instructor said appreciatively as he watched Rose fire off yet another round. She’d even gotten it right in the middle of the target at one point. “I’ve scheduled you for the certification test tomorrow, I don’t see any reason why you won’t pass with flyin’ colors.” Rose nodded silently, moving to reload her gun. “Why don’t we call it a day?” She had been at it since seven that morning and she had yet to take a break. She hadn’t even eaten.

“One more round,” Rose insisted. “You can go if you want, I’m just gonna fire this off and leave.”

The instructor hesitated, but let her be, leaving. It was late — Rose was the only one left in the range. The shots echoed in the empty air, barely distracting Rose from the thoughts that threatened to consume her.

“Not bad,” a voice said when the clip was finally empty, and she whipped around to look at Mickey. Caught up as she had been, she hadn’t even heard him come in.

“Gotta be ready for certification,” she said as she finally set the gun down. She could still _feel_ it in her hands, feel the kickback in her skin. It was an odd feeling, to say the least. She rubbed her hands together, taking a breath to try and shake it off. “What’re you doin’ down here?”

“Lookin’ for you, actually. Let’s go get somethin’ to eat.”

“Not hungry.”

“When was the last time you ate?” Rose paused at that, coming up short. She honestly couldn’t remember. “That’s what I thought. Come on, chips on me.”

And with that he took her hand, tugging her off towards the exist. Rose barely had time to grab her bag.

There was a chippy nearby so they just walked, silent. Mickey didn’t really know what to say to Rose — she had been so quiet since that jump. So unwilling to talk about what had happened.

And considering she’d looked like a scene out of a horror movie when she’d landed back in the dimension cannon room, Mickey couldn’t say he blamed her.

“Are you okay, Rose?” He finally asked quietly as they sat down with their baskets of chips, and she shot him a small smile.

“Of course I am. Just tired, I didn’t sleep well last night.” Or the night before. Or the night before. In fact she’d barely slept at all since that first jump. Sleep meant nightmares. Meant seeing Charlie ripped apart by the ferals. Meant reliving it all over and over and over.

And she couldn’t handle that right then.

“What about you? Feel like we haven’t talked in ages.” Because they hadn’t, really. And it was Rose’s fault.

“M’alright. Gran’s got a bit of a cold, she’s all laid up, Pete’s payin’ for a nurse to help take care of her though so that’s kinda nice.” He shook his head as he doused his chips in vinegar and popped one his mouth. “It’s mad, growin’ up we were always scrimpin’ and scroungin’ for every pound, and now we’ve got someone helping us who has more money than he knows what to do with. And we’re livin’ in a mansion!”

The irony hadn’t escaped Rose either. “It’s nice, though. I swear Mum’s de-aged ten years since we got here. Not havin’ to worry about where her next paycheck is comin’ from really took a lot of stress of her.”

“I hear that,” Mickey agreed. In the other universe he’d been living hand to mouth, just like Rose and Jackie. But they didn’t need to worry about that anymore. They were set, probably for the rest of their lives.

It was amazing.

“Certainly not complainin’ though. I don’t miss havin’ to worry about if I’m gonna make my rent this month.”

Getting trapped here had been good for everyone, really. Mickey had a great job and he had his grandmother back and they were living in a mansion together. Jackie had Pete and a new baby and the life she had always deserved. Pete had Jackie and the child he had always wanted (but the original Jackie in this universe had never wanted to give him). Everyone was happy.

Rose was the only one who didn’t belong here.

And that hurt more than she would ever let on.

∞×∞×∞×∞

As predicted, Rose passed her certification with no difficulty. As soon as she was done and armed with her Torchwood-issued firearm she went straight to the med lab, demanding they medically clear her to jump again.

“Agent Tyler we can’t just—”

“Look, I’m fine. See, my arm is healing, I can see straight I have all ten fingers and all ten toes, I am absolutely _fine_. So just sign the damn form so I can get out of here. Alright?”

It was hard to argue with that. The doctor on duty gulped as he signed the form, and Rose gave him a sweet smile.

“Thank you.”

From there it was up to Pete’s office, where she slapped the form on the desk and said, “I want to jump again.”

Pete picked up the form, reading it over as he blew out a long breath. “Okay,” he said finally. “We’ll schedule a run for after lunch.”

Rose knew better than to push, even if she didn’t _want_ to wait until after lunch. Instead she decided to use the time to prepare. She’d gone in completely blind last time, completely unprepared, and it had made her completely useless.

That wasn’t going to happen again.

She found a messenger’s bag in the lost and found, emptying it out and going to pack her own things instead. A first aid kit, a couple extra magazines, some water bottles, a pocket knife, even an extra gun, just in case. She wasn’t the Doctor, she wasn’t clever enough to make an escape plan out of a piece of string and a paper clip.

She wanted to have every single supply she could.

Finally it was time for the jump. Rose took a deep breath as she stepped into the dimension cannon room, ignoring the looks she was getting from the scientists. She simply secured the bag around her shoulder and grabbed the button, walking to the center of the room.

“Ready?” The lead scientist called, and she nodded, waiting for the countdown before hitting the button.

The jump was a bit rougher this time. They’d warned Rose that might happen, but she still wasn’t prepared for the intense vertigo that slammed into her the moment her feet touched the ground. She didn’t even get a chance to examine her surroundings before everything blurred, and she staggered, hand reaching out to steady herself on the nearest solid thing — a tree trunk, she was fairly certain. She leaned over, dry heaving and suddenly grateful she’d skipped lunch.

When her stomach finally settled a bit she sank to the ground, rubbing her eyes and blinking rapidly to bring the world back into focus. It seemed to be just an empty road — an empty, normal road. No post-apocalyptic horrors, nothing off or even a little weird. Just an empty road lined by trees.

Of course, it was also devoid of a certain blue box, so it wasn’t like Rose had completely succeeded. But she’d rather have been trapped _here_ for half an hour than running for her life from some beasts.

She sat for another few minutes, sipping her water and congratulating herself on the foresight to bring it, before she finally pulled herself up and started down the street on slightly unsteady feet. The sky overhead was grey, threatening rain, and she really hoped it held off until she could go home

Still, she wasn’t running for her life, so she supposed she couldn’t complain _too_ much.

The sound of a motor reached her ears, and she looked back to see a pick-up truck making its way down the street. She took another step off to the side to ensure she didn’t get hit, but it didn’t matter — the truck slowed as it approached her, the window rolling down. The driver — a young woman — was sitting on the right side of the car. She definitely wasn’t in the UK then.

“You alright there, hun?” American accent.

“Oh, yeah,” Rose said quickly. “Just…walkin’.”

The woman gave her a small smile. “You’re not from around here, are ya?”

“What gave it away?” Rose asked dryly, and the woman laughed.

“Well the accent and the fact that nobody walks down these roads. Bad wolf problem in these parts.”

Rose knew that the woman was just using the word _bad_ to describe the wolf problem, but the combination of words still made her laugh a bit. “That’s alright. I’ll be okay, I’m not gonna be around much longer anyways.”

“Still, my mom would skin me alive if she knew I left a girl on the side of the street. At least let me get you down the road a little faster.”

Rose hesitated for a moment, natural suspicion kicking in, but she waved it off. The girl seemed trustworthy enough. And she was a good judge of character. “Okay,” she finally said, and the girl leaned back from the window as she opened the door. “I’m Rose, by the way.”

“LeAnn. Nice to meet you.” They started down the street again. “So how’d you end up here, anyways? Bit far from home arencha?”

_Oh you have no idea_. “I’m uh…travelin’ a bit. Tryin’ to find someone.”

“Let me guess, yourself?” LeAnn asked with a smirk, and Rose laughed.

“Not quite, no. Uh…a bloke, actually. God it sounds so pathetic when I say it out loud.”

“Aw no, it sounds romantic! You came to a different country just to find a guy. Will any guy do or is there someone specific?”

“Specific. We uh…we got separated a while back, I honestly have no idea where he is right now.”

“You can’t just call him and ask?”

Well maybe if she landed in the right universe and she hadn’t _destroyed_ her super phone with the TARDIS number in it…

“Unfortunately no. It’s…kinda a long story.”

“Oh, I’m being nosy,” LeAnn squeaked, looking horrified. “I’m so sorry, Mom’s always telling me I need to learn how to keep my mouth shut—”

“No no, it’s fine,” Rose assured her quickly, laughing a bit. “Really it is, it’s just…a really wild story. Kinda somethin’ out of scifi movie, honestly.”

“Not the way most people explain their relationships, but alright.” LeAnn smiled. “If it works for you.”

They pulled up in front of a small house, and LeAnn hopped out of the truck, saying, “Mom’s making supper, she always cooks enough for ten, why don’t you join us? You’re skin and bones.”

Yeah…that was honestly no surprise. “I don’t want to intrude, the ride was more than enough really,” Rose said as she got out as well. “Thank you—”

“LeAnn, come on!” A voice called, and Rose turned to see another woman standing in the door of the house. “Dinner’s getting cold! Who’s your friend?”

“This is Rose, Mom,” LeAnn called back, walking around the truck and grabbing Rose’s hand, pulling her along. “I found her walking on the side of the road.”

“Must not be from around here then,” her mother said with a snort, and Rose smiled sheepishly.

“No ma’am.”

The woman gave her a warm smile. “Come on then, let’s eat. You look like you could do with a good meal. I’m Sarah, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you.” Rose sighed inwardly as she was corralled inside. Apparently she wasn’t getting out of this without eating.

“So what brings you to these parts, Rose?” Sarah asked they sat down to eat.

“She’s looking for a man!” LeAnn cut in excitedly. “Not just any man, there’s a certain one, it sounds _so_ romantic—”

“LeAnn,” her mother scolded her lightly, and she blushed, ducking her head to focus on her chicken. Rose simply smiled, amused.

“So LeAnn mentioned you have a wolf problem here?” She asked, trying to get the conversation off her — she didn’t really want to talk about herself.

“Oh, yes.” Sarah sighed. “It wouldn’t be so bad usually, but you chose a hell of a day to be walking around, with the full moon tonight.”

Rose blinked, confused. “What’s the full moon got to do with it?” LeAnn and Sarah just stared at her, and she put the pieces together. “Wha — you don’t mean — not _werewolves_?”

“What, do you not have werewolves in England?”

…Okay, this _definitely_ was her original universe. Unless America was just hiding a lot of secrets or something. “Uh…well, if you listen to rumors the royal family is a pack of werewolves.”

That got her a laugh, and the strangeness of the fact that she was stunned by werewolves was forgotten. Alright so this had definitely been a bust. But at least she’d been found by nice people and wasn’t outside for the werewolves to attack her. So, silver lining.

But _werewolves_. Wow.

Really, she’d thought it couldn’t get any stranger.

She heard a small beep sound from her bag. The dimension cannon was ready to go. She looked back at LeAnn and Sarah, who were locked in a debate about something she didn’t quite understand. She felt bad — they had been so kind to her, she didn’t want to just leave in the middle of the meal. But this trip had gone well, and she wanted to try and get in another jump before the end of the day…

“I’m sorry, but can I use your loo?” That got her a weird look. “Bathroom. Sorry.”

“Oh sure, right down the hall, second door on the left.”

Thankfully they didn’t question why she was bringing her bag with her. Behind the closed door of the bathroom she dug out the notepad and pen that had been last minute additions to her little survival kit. She tore a page out, scribbling down a quick note — _Thank you for your kindness. —Rose —_ and she left it on the counter for whoever came looking for her to find, then hit the button.

The return trip wasn’t _nearly_ as bad, but it was still a bit rough. Rose managed to land with her feet on the ground, but she had to sit almost immediately after. “I’m fine,” she called quickly, loudly, before anyone could react. “I’m fine, just need the room to stop spinnin’. Give me a minute.”

She leaned forward a bit, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths. After a moment she dared to try and look again, smiling when she saw Mickey kneeling in front of her.

“There’s two of you.”

“Yeah, I spontaneously developed a twin while you were gone.” He grinned. “Bad trip?”

“The ride there was worse.” She groaned as she picked herself up off the ground, wobbling slightly but managing to stay upright. Mickey hurried to stand and help keep her steady.

“Where’d you end up this time?”

“I’m not _entirely_ sure, but I have a feeling it wasn’t our universe. It was America and I was in a town that was apparently overrun by werewolves.”

Mickey laughed at that — until he realized something rather important. “What — you’re serious?”

“Absolutely. And I landed on a full moon day. Thankfully the sun hadn’t set yet and a woman and her daughter were kind enough to take me in until the dimension cannon recharged. Even fed me.”

Mickey rolled his eyes at her, shaking his head as he pulled her off to the side to sit — and let the doctors examine her, she realized, disgruntled, as she was instantly ambushed.

“You’re the only person I know who can get two total strangers to take you in and take care of you.”

She flashed him a rather cocky grin. “What can I say, it’s part of my natural charm.”

Mickey wondered if she realized how much she sounded like the Doctor right then.


	4. A Bad Jump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose continues jumping between universes, and ends up in a bad place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****WARNING: Blood, abuse, and gun violence****

“You can do it, you can do it, you can do it — you  _did_  it!” Rose cheered as Tony successfully rolled onto his stomach. “Yay!”

Jackie stood in the door, watching her children with a small, fond smile. It was so rare to see Rose smile these days. She was always so focused on work and her next jump.

It had been two months since the stars had started going out. So far Rose had jumped eight times, all without any luck. Most of the places were just normal parallel Earths, at least — she hadn’t yet encountered another nightmare-ish place like the first world.

But it was starting to wear on her.

“Come on then, give me a smile,” Rose said, poking Tony’s cheek. “Give me a smile, I see a smile on those lips I know you wanna smile.” She tickled him, and he giggled, a high-pitched sound that was accompanied by what was probably the cutest smile ever. “ _There_  we go!” Rose laughed as she scooped Tony up, falling onto her back so he was hanging over her head. Tony squealed, kicking his legs.

“You know people really  _could_  mistake you for his mother,” Jackie said as she finally let her presence be known, stepping into the room and settling down next to Rose on the floor. Rose looked back at her, her smile turning soft as she settled Tony down on her chest.

“Nah, m’not the mother type.”

“Oh but you’re a natural. Look at him, I think he loves you more than he loves me or Pete.”

“Well I’m his sister, we’re supposed to stick together. Of course he loves me more.” Rose smirked faintly. Jackie reached out, brushing a hand against Tony’s wispy hair — blonde, just like his mother and sister. After a hesitant moment she looked over at Rose.

“I’m gonna ask you somethin’. And you have to promise not to get mad.”

Rose lifted her head to look at her mother, frowning. That was never good. “What?”

“On the beach that day—” Rose’s entire expression instantly shut down. It didn’t take a genius to guess what day Jackie was talking about, they had only been to a beach once in this godforsaken universe. Jackie pushed on all the same though. “Now I’ll give you this, we were standing off a ways and we didn’t get the entire conversation, but sometimes the wind shifted and we picked up a few words.”

“So what?” Her voice was practically steely. Jackie sighed.

“When you were tellin’ him about the baby…before you mentioned I was pregnant, he was lookin’ at you like…”

“He thought maybe me and Mickey got back together,” Rose said, a bit angrily. “That’s all.”

“Is it?”

“Mum just ask what you wanna ask.” Tony squawked as Rose’s voice turned angry. He was horribly sensitive to those kinds of mood shifts, it made him unhappy.

“Fine. Were you and him sleepin’ together?”

Rose sat up, keeping Tony cradled to his chest and walking over to set him in the crib. With him settled, she walked out.

“Oi, you didn’t answer!” Jackie protested, groaning as she pushed herself up to go after her.

“I said you could ask, I didn’t say I would answer.”

Of course, Jackie wasn’t going to let it go  _nearly_ that easily. “You were, weren’t you? If you weren’t you’d just say no, but you’re avoidin’ it—”

“Because this isn’t a discussion I want to have with my  _mother_!”

“Which just means there’s a discussion to have!”

By then they had reached Rose’s wing. She walked straight to her room, closing and locking the door behind her. “The more you avoid it the more I know I’m right!” Jackie called through the wood. Rose ignored it, walking to her bed and collapsing.

It wasn’t what Jackie was thinking, Rose was sure. It wasn’t like they were having sex all over the TARDIS or anything.

Just…once.

_Rose shot up in her bed, her last call of the Doctor’s name still on her lips. She scrubbed her eyes, trying to pull herself out of the trap between sleeping and waking._

_The Doctor. The Doctor. She needed to see the Doctor._

_She staggered out of bed, her heart still pounding in her chest as she threw herself at the door. She needed to see the Doctor. She needed to see the Doctor. She needed to—_

_“Whoa!”_

_The second she stepped over the threshold she ran right into the Time Lord, very nearly bowling him over. “Okay, hi, hey, I’ve got you,” the Doctor said quickly as he righted himself and helped Rose steady herself as well. He had half a second to see the fear in her eyes, the tears running down her cheeks that she hadn’t even been aware of, before she was throwing herself at him, arms winding tight around as neck as she clung to him._

_“I thought I lost you,” she whispered against neck, voice cracking. “God I thought I lost you…”_

_“Ssshhh, no,” the Doctor murmured, smoothing her hair back. “You didn’t lose me, see? I’m right here. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”_

_Rose whimpered sharply, tightening her grip. Part of her knew she was overreacting — they were in danger every single day. Hell, she’d thought she’d lost him on that black-hole planet._

_So why was this time so different?_

_Maybe it was too many close calls. Maybe it was just getting to her. Maybe she was just tired of almost losing him._

_Maybe she was just half asleep and overtired and would severely regret this massive overreaction in the morning. It was hard to tell, honestly._

_“Come on,” the Doctor murmured after a moment, and she pulled away to look at him. “Let’s get you back to bed.”_

_He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, gently guiding her back into her room, sitting her down on the bed. She grabbed his wrist before he could move._

_“Stay?” Her voice was small and entirely unlike her and she cursed it, but she **needed** him to stay. She needed the comfort._

_The Doctor hesitated for the briefest moment before moving to sit down next to her, toeing his trainers off. “Lay down,” he said quietly, and Rose crawled back under her covers, watching him with rapt attention. He didn’t try to run though — he simply slipped his suit jacket off, leaving it at the bottom of the bed before joining her. He wrapped his arm back around her shoulders and she curled into him, her head coming to a rest over his double-beating hearts._

_“Thank you,” she whispered weakly, and he she could hear the smile in his voice as he answered._

_“Of course. But do you mind if I ask what happened?”_

_Rose looked up at him, and this time she could feel the tears burning in her eyes. God this **was**  embarrassing. She was acting like such a child._

_“I…”_

_But she couldn’t answer. She curled up tighter, turning to press her face into the Doctor’s shirt. “Okay, okay.” He wrapped his arms tighter around her, offering her the only comfort he could. “It’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it.”_

_She took a few deep breaths to steady herself, dragging her hand across her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she managed to say after a moment, swallowing hard and looking up at him again._

_“Hey, nothing to be sorry for,” he assured her gently, brushing her hair back from her face. “You had a nightmare, right?” She nodded, ducking her head again. “No, don’t.” He tucked his fingers under her chin, tilting her head back up. “It’s okay. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Tell me about it.”_

_She couldn’t look at him as she spoke, but she couldn’t look away. So instead she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before she spoke. “You were…gone. Just gone. Like earlier, with the Isolus. But this time…I couldn’t save you. Nothing I did was enough, you were gone and I…I couldn’t bring you back.”_

_She pressed her lips thin, trying to breathe deep, to stay in control. “Rose,” the Doctor prompted gently. “Open your eyes. Look at me.” She did as she was told, surprised by how close she was to him. Barely a few inches between her nose and his. “It’s okay. See, I’m okay, and it’s okay for you to have nightmares. I **am**  okay though. See?”_

_Rose gave a small nod, aware for the first time that his fingers were still wrapped around her chin. “Yeah.” Her mouth was strangely dry. “Yeah…you’re safe. Everyone is safe.”_

_It was hard to tell who moved first. They were just staring at one another…_

_And then they were kissing. It wasn’t a calculated move or a conscious thought, but suddenly her lips were crashing against his and his fingers were tangling in her hair…_

_And it was all downhill from there_.

One time. It had been one time and they hadn’t even talked about it, not really. It hadn’t been nearly as awkward the next morning as Rose had expected — she’d woken up in bed alone, no surprise, and when she’d gone into the kitchen the Doctor had been making pancakes (strawberry for her, banana for him) and  _humming_ , and the grin he’d given Rose had been completely sincere and easy and happy.

Happy. He’d been happy.

_They_  had been happy.

And three days later she’d been trapped in this universe.

Rose whimpered a bit as she turned into her pillow, pressing her face into the fabric. God she missed him. She just wanted to go  _home_.

She just wanted him back.

∞×∞×∞×∞

Rose was schedule for another jump the next day. The situation with the stars going out was getting worse, and people were starting to notice. And panic.

They needed to find help.

“Ready?” One of the scientists called.

“Born ready,” Rose called back. She had her bag hanging off her shoulder, packed and ready to go.

They started the countdown, Rose was consumed by the light…

When it faded, she had two seconds to see the barren landscape before something slammed into the back of her head.

And everything we black.

The pain in her head when she woke again was nearly blinding. Rose let out a small whimper, trying to pick herself up.

And was stopped by a heavy boot to the stomach. She dropped again, coughing hard.

A voice screamed foreign words at her, and she raised her head to see a man standing over her.

“Wot?” Her voice broke, stress and pain making her accent thicker. The man yelled again, and this time the tip of his boot hit her nose. The  _crack_  of her nose breaking was barely audible over her pained scream, which turned to a spluttering cough as blood poured down her lips.

“Stop,” she whispered thickly, head spinning and aching something fierce. “Please stop…”

But he couldn’t understand her, didn’t realize she was begging for mercy. The blow this time was to her head, and she cried out as stars burst to life before her eyes.

Language had never been a problem for Rose. The TARDIS had always translated, and she had honestly forgotten the language barrier existed.

What a cruel way to be reminded.

“Stop…” Rose whimpered again. If she could just seem as non-threatening as possible, maybe he would stop…

But he just yelled again, and Rose heard something crack as he kicked her ribs. Pain burned through her chest, tears working their way slowly down her cheeks.

“I don’t understand…”

Maybe if he realized she was speaking English, he could find someone to translate, so she could tell them she wasn’t a threat…

But talking only seemed to be getting her in more trouble. The man shouted at her again, and she curled up to shield herself. There were no blows this time though. He yelled a bit more and stormed out, slamming the heavy wooden door behind him.

A small sob slipped off Rose’s lips as she finally uncurled, and pain burned through her body. She raised her head to look for her bag, but of course it wasn’t there.

Which meant she’d lost the trigger for the dimension cannon.

Which meant  _they_  had it.

Panic flooded through Rose at that, and she shot up quickly, ignoring every ache and pain. She knew if one of these… _men_ …somehow found their way to her world, Torchwood could handle it.

But she would be stranded in here. In this hell-hole of a universe.

No way.

Rose managed to get herself to her feet — and almost promptly went down again. Adrenaline and pain were at war in her body, and pain was winning. She staggered, hitting the wall hard, and another whimper slipped off her lips. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been in so much pain.

Or if she ever had been.

After a few minutes she picked herself up again, taking a deep breath. Okay, focus. She needed to get out of here and find her bag. Hopefully they hadn’t just tossed it. She’d be screwed if they had.

But she couldn’t afford to think like that right then. She needed to figure out a plan. She needed to get out of this miserable little cell.

A precursory look around the cell told her exactly what she had feared — there was  _nothing_  here that could possibly help her escape. Nothing obvious, at least. Which just meant she was going to have to try and focus past the massive headache and be creative.

Okay. She could do this.

She leaned back against the wall, looking around the room again. There was a rock — she stumbled over to it, grabbing it and picking it up. It was small, but _sharp_. She’d only have one shot, but if she could get the drop on the next person who came in…as long as there was only one person…

Rose was shaking as she dragged herself over to stand so she would be behind the door when it opened. Okay, she could do this. She had no idea how long she’d have to wait, but she didn’t care. She’d stand there all night if she had to.

She was pretty sure that was what it ended up being. Her legs were cramping and her breathing was heavy and the room was hot and spinning — a fever, perhaps, or an infection — but she refused to give in.

Finally the door creaked open.

And Rose was surprisingly fast, all things considered. She sprang forward, driving the sharp edge of the rock into the man’s neck. His pained screamed gurgled off into nothing as he collapsed, and Rose went down with him, breathing hard. She wasn’t sure where she’d hit, exactly, but it was enough to immobilize him, and really that was all he needed.

She grabbed the gun strapped to his side, shoved the rock in the pocket of her jeans, and stumbled up, hurrying into the hall, closing the door behind her. The longer she could hide her escape, the better.

Running was  _hard_ , harder than it had ever been for Rose. She stumbled more than once, and at one point nearly went into headfirst into the wall, but for the most part she managed to keep herself going without too much of a problem.

At the end of the hall she stopped, collapsing against the stone wall and peeking around cautiously to make sure no one was coming. She was in luck — the hall was empty.  _Luck’s not gonna hold out forever_ , a voice in the back of her head reminded her, and she closed her eyes for a moment in an attempt to stave off the absolute  _hopelessness_  that was threatening to set in.  _No_. It was _not_  hopeless. Just a little bit impossible, and really wasn’t that was Rose Tyler thrived in? Eating impossible for breakfast, that was her.

She could do this.

Not that she had any clue whatsoever where she was going. But it was a prison, from what she could tell. So that meant there had to be a security room, in theory at least. Maybe…maybe her bag was there. Maybe the button was there. If her luck could hold out just long enough to find it—

A voice shouted behind her — her luck had run out. She whirled to see a man running towards her, drawing his gun. Without a second thought she brought her gun up, shooting him in the knee. He went down with a yell, and Rose hurried to kick his gun away from him. She slammed the flat side of the rock into his head, knocking him out, not that it was doing much good. His yells and the gunshot had echoed. Everyone within earshot knew something was wrong now.

Rose took off down the hall again, heart pounding, pumping adrenaline through her, masking the pain — at least for the moment. Voices echoed around her, and she saw a door up ahead, half open — an empty cell or a closet or something. It didn’t matter, she threw herself into the room, managing to leave the door exactly as it was, and she peeked out cautiously through the crack…

Just in time to see seven or eight men run by. Her stomach dropped. Not that she didn’t already know she was horribly and hopelessly outnumbered…but seeing it for herself was terrifying.

_No. Focus. You need to do this_.

The men were gone, and she needed to move. She stumbled up, running as fast as her shaking legs would carry her in the opposite direction of where the men were going. They had come from this way, so there had to be something down here — some sort of pseudo-security office or outpost. Right?

She turned a corner — and nearly ran headfirst into two more men. There was no time for mercy — she brought the gun up, shooting one in the head and barely missing being shot by the second. She drove the grip of the gun into his nose, and he howled as he went down.

He got a bullet in the head too.

Rose determinedly shut herself down as she took off again. There would be time for guilt and feeling sick later, when she was free of this place.

She needed to keep running.

There was an open door at the end of one hallway. Rose skidded to a halt, eying it uncertainly as she crept slowly down the hall towards it, ears peeled for any noise. But the hall seemed blissfully empty.

She peeked into the room — and had to bite down a surprised noise. There was a man in there, but he was sleeping, his legs up on the table, mouth hanging open. Very deeply asleep, apparently. Rose scanned the room, trying to find something, anything that might’ve been of use…

_Her bag_! She sucked in a sharp breath, ignoring the pain that sent through her side. There was her bag, right in the corner. It even looked like it still had her stuff in it. She eyed the sleeping man wearily before getting down on all fours and carefully crawling into the room.

So close…

An angry voice behind her had her whirling around. The man had woken up and instantly drawn his gun. Rose dove for the bag, abandoning her own weapon. She shoved her hand into the bag, finding the button, a gunshot echoed through the air…

And suddenly Rose was back in the dimension cannon room. She had two seconds to see the shocked faces of the people around her before pain _burned_  to life in her side, and she fell over with a yell, curling up tight. Her eyes widened when she saw the blood coating her hands.

She’d been shot.

“ _Rose_!”

She vaguely recognized Pete’s voice as she was suddenly surrounded, and she cried out as she was rolled onto her back. Oh no, her body did not like that at  _all_. She thought she heard someone calling for a stretcher, but everything was starting to run together in her ears. There was just too much going on…

Rose gasped as the pain spiked again, and suddenly she was coughing, blood bubbling up over lips. “Bullet hit the lung!” She heard the doctor report as she struggled to breathe evenly, but there simply wasn’t enough oxygen for her to gather in her only working lung.

The last thing she heard before unconsciousness swept her away was, “She’s crashing!”


	5. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose recovers from her latest jump - and comes to a very important decision about her life.

Jackie pressed down a sob as she watched, through the viewing window, as the doctors tended to her daughter. It had taken three hours of surgery to get the bullet out of Rose and repair the damage done by it. Nobody had the heart to tell Jackie that Rose’s heart had stopped in the process.

They’d gotten it started again. That was all that mattered.

Pete rested a hand on Jackie’s shoulder and she turned, burying her face in his chest as she gave in to the tears at last. It wasn’t  _fair_. Her biggest fear when Rose had been with the Doctor was that one day he was going to bring home her body. She’d thought — hoped, prayed — that those days were behind her.

But apparently not.

If anything it was  _worse_  now. Because now Rose didn’t even have the Doctor to save her if she got into trouble. She was on her own.

And the thought of that was absolutely terrifying.

“Ssshhh,” Pete coaxed gently, rubbing her back. “It’s okay. She’s okay. The doctor said she’s gonna be fine.” He was trying very hard to just focus on that. Because he knew he needed to be strong for his family. For Jackie.

But the fear of Rose being nearly twelve hours late coming back and the image of her bleeding on the floor were both burned into Pete’s mind. He knew he’d be having nightmares about that for a long time to come.

But he would deal with that on his own later.

∞×∞×∞×∞

Everything  _hurt_.

There was a burning pain in her side, and her entire body just felt as if she had been run over. Rose groaned lightly as she tried to pick herself up. Oh  _that_  was a bad idea. She fell back with a strangled, pained noise.

“Easy, easy,” a gentle voice coaxed. Jackie. Rose forced her eyes open, turning her head to look at her mother. She could tell right off that her mother hadn’t slept — she looked absolutely exhausted and she was a bit of a mess.

“…Ow…” Her voice cracked as she spoke, and she squeezed her eyes shut again.

“Yeah, the doctor said you might be in a bit of pain. Do you want some morphine?” Rose shook her head without really thinking. She  _hated_  any kind of drugs. She barely liked taking aspirin. “Thought you’d say that.” Jackie sighed, wrapping her fingers around Rose’s smaller, slightly shaking hand. “Just relax. Try and get some more sleep.”

It wasn’t easy, but eventually Rose managed to drift off. It certainly wasn’t a restful sleep. Pain managed to find her even in unconsciousness, making her twist and turn and whimper. There was simply no relief.

Jackie was still there when she finally gave up and resurfaced into the land of the living. “You look awful,” Rose muttered when she focused on her mother, and Jackie snorted.

“Aren’t you a charmer.”

“Go  _home_ ,” Rose insisted weakly. “Get some sleep.”

“I’m  _fine_ ,” Jackie argued. “Really I am. You just shush and focus on yourself, alright?”

“I’m fine too.” Jackie scoffed at that.

“Oh don’t you start with me. You look half dead.”

“Now who’s a charmer?”

Jackie made at Rose, and she sighed. “Mum, really. I’m not about to keel over. Go home and get some sleep. I’m not much company anyways.”

“You could be in a coma and I still wouldn’t leave.”

Rose rolled her eyes a bit, settling back down in bed. She felt horrible — she was well aware that her mother wasn’t joking about the fact that she was half dead. She could only imagine what she looked like.

She didn’t really want to think about it, honestly.

∞×∞×∞×∞

The next few days passed in much the same way — Rose drifted in and out of sleep, never able to stay awake for so long.

Of course, sleep wasn’t a total escape.

Within a day of waking up, the nightmares started. Rose’s memories of how she’d gotten home and what had happened after were fuzzy, but everything before getting shot was crystal clear.

And the memories came back in her dreams. The man standing over her, screaming the foreign words Rose couldn’t understand, kicking her, abusing her.

And every single night she woke up screaming, gasping for air as her recently collapse lung strained to keep working.

After the fourth night they wanted to drug Rose because the nightmares were keeping her from sleeping, but she refused. She hated drugs.

“Rose stop being so stubborn,” Jackie begged. She was understandably worried.

“I’m  _fine_. I’m not even that tired, and I  _don’t_  like how sleeping pills make me feel. You  _know_  that.”

“But you need to sleep.”

“I  _have_  slept.”

“Without nightmares?” Rose wouldn’t talk about them, but Jackie knew they were bad. They had to be for it to effect Rose like this. She wasn’t easily rattled, after all.

“Mum, I’m fine. Go home.”

“Make me.”

The stand off lasted about thirty seconds before Rose got tired and just closed her eyes.

She wasn’t in the mood for an argument.

The nightmares continued, but Rose got to a point, at least, where they didn’t effect her  _as_  much. She woke up terrified, realized she wasn’t in that place, and went back to sleep. Jackie begged her again to take the sleeping pills, and again she refused.

She didn’t want sleeping pills.

It was two weeks before Rose was allowed to go home, and even she was still basically on bed rest. Minimal movement, no strenuous activity, lay down as much as possible. Rose tried to cheat, but Jackie always forced her back to bed.

“You can live a few more days on bed rest.”

Rose highly doubted that.

Day five, Rose was ready to throw her remote at the television. “Can’t believe Mum used to watch this stuff,” she muttered. Day time telly was, without a doubt, the most  _mind-numbing_  thing in the world. If possible, it was  _worse_  than she remembered.

And that was saying something.

Thankfully — and Rose used that term loosely — Jackie came in a few minutes later, carting Tony with her. “He wanted to see his big sister,” she explained, and Rose sat up, grinning and holding her arms out.

“C’mere Tony.”

Tony made a happy noise as he waved his arms towards Rose, clearly wanting to go to her, but Jackie hesitated.

“Are you sure—?”

“Mum, you brought him in here, now hand him over.”

Jackie made a face, but finally transferred Tony to Rose’s arms. Oh he was getting  _big_. Rose settled him in her lap, and he was instantly trying to climb all over her, fingers grabbing at her face, and she laughed. “Good to see you too, baby boy.”

“Have you eaten lunch yet?” Jackie asked as she made her way to the kitchenette. She already knew the answer to that, of course.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Well too bad.”

Yeah, Rose had known that was coming. They played a very simple game, her and Jackie. Rose didn’t want food, Jackie forced her to eat anyways. It was simple, but it took a surprising amount of effort — mostly on Rose’s part. Jackie was hard to refuse when she set her mind on something. Like making sure her daughter was fed.

So Rose and Tony sat on the bed, Rose trying to teach him patty cake — which he wasn’t quite coordinated enough for yet — while Jackie cooked some pasta. She knew she wouldn’t get Rose to eat much. But even just a little was better than absolutely nothing.

“Sorry to interrupt the lesson, but lunchtime,” Jackie said as she settled down on the bed, handing the bowl over. Rose sighed as she took it and poked at the noodles, making a face.

“I’m really not that hungry, Mum.”

“Don’t care. You’re gonna eat whether you like it or not.”

Rose glared at Jackie before unwillingly digging in.

Jackie gave her about two minutes of peace before saying, “So…”  Rose looked up from her bowl, suspicious. That was never good.

“So…?” She prompted, raising an eyebrow.

“Well um…Pete’s holding a dinner party next week—”

“No,” Rose said at once, already knowing where this was going.

“And he’d really appreciate it—”

“No.”

“If you could—”

“ _No_ , Mum.” She’d been to a few dinner parties since being trapped here. It was, unfortunately, part of having the Tyler name. But Rose didn’t want to put up with that. Not now. She had more important things to do.

“Just for a couple hours,” Jackie begged. She hated the parties too, she really did, but she understood why they were necessary. And Rose did too, but she wasn’t in the mood to deal with it right then.

“If I’m well enough to go to one of these ridiculous parties then I’m well enough to go back to work.”  _That_  brought Jackie up short for a moment. It wasn’t exactly a secret that Jackie was keeping Rose on bed rest to stop her from going back to work. She hadn’t been  _subtle_  about it.

“Goin’ to a dinner party is hardly as dangerous as randomly hopping from dimension to dimension,” the older Tyler finally protested, uselessly.

“That depends on who you ask. But you can’t keep me in this bloody bed forever, Mum. No matter how much you want to.” And it was obvious that she wanted to, no matter how much she tried to hide it.

Jackie made a face at Rose, clearly not happy about any of this. She knew her daughter was right, of course. She couldn’t keep her strapped down forever. No matter how much she wanted to.

It was just so hard to let her go back out there where she would be hurt. Again.

“Just go to the dinner party, Rose. We’ll talk about the rest later, okay?”

“If I go to the dinner party, then I’m goin’ back to work. I’m a grown woman, Mum, you can’t stop me.”

And with that she pushed herself out of bed, ignoring the slight stab of pain that went through her side as she walked out of the room. She was surprised when Jackie didn’t try to stop her.

∞×∞×∞×∞

Rose was a good girl and went to the dinner party, because she knew as much as she hated them, it looked good to have the entire family there — or all the adults in it, at least.

So Rose went, and she socialized, and she put on her bright, brilliant, fake smile for all the people Pete was tryin to get in good with. She did everything she was supposed to.

And the day after that, she began looking for her own apartment.

Jackie made her unhappiness with this known, of course, but Rose clearly couldn’t live at home anymore. She couldn’t have Jackie continuously finding ways to try and stop her from going back to work, from dimension jumping.

There was too much at stake.

It didn’t take long to find her own place — she wasn’t afraid to throw Pete’s name in every now and again, and within a couple of weeks she was packing up her meager belongings to move to a flat that was only a couple streets over from the Torchwood building.

Jackie refused to help her pack or move. She was taking a stand against all of it. “You know she just wants the best for you,” Pete said as he helped Rose carry her boxes down to the car. “Right?”

“Yeah, I know she is,” Rose sighed, dragging her fingers through her hair. “But it’s time to get out anyways. I need my own space. I need a chance to be on my own.”

She needed to get away from Jackie. She hated to say it, but she did. She didn’t need Jackie trying to protect her anymore. It was time for her to be on her own.

They finished packing the car, and Rose sighed as she went to find Jackie. Her mother was sitting on the floor in Tony’s room, helping Tony try to crawl. He was still a bit too young for it, but he was giving it his all. Just like a real Tyler.

“Mum?”

Jackie didn’t even look up from Tony. “Ready to go, then?”

Rose sighed, looping a finger around a lock of hair. “Yeah, I’m goin’. Will you please look at me?”

She looked up for two seconds, then looked down again. “Not like I haven’t seen you before. I did raise you.”

“ _Mum_.”

“What, Rose? What do you want me to say? You’re movin’ out because I’m suffocatin’ you, I don’t know what exactly you expect me to say to that.”

“People move out, people leave home! Tony’s gonna move out someday too, you gonna guilt  _him_  about it?”

“When he moves out I doubt it’ll be because he’s sick of me.”

“I’m  _not_ —!” Rose cut herself off, throwing her hands in the air. “Fine. Think you want. Forget it.”

And with that she turned and walked out. She should’ve known better. Jackie was impossible.

The drive to her new flat wasn’t that bad, but actually moving everything upstairs was exhausting. Pete had made sure the place was furnished for her, so as soon as Rose was done she collapsed into bed, ignoring the dull throb in her side. She really shouldn’t have been doing so much, but she’d wanted to get it done.

She took a nap before trying to unpack, but her heart wasn’t really into it, so instead she went for a walk. It had been a awhile since she’d really gone out just to go out, and a walk sounded nice, especially considering how cooped up she’d been feeling lately.

And so she made her way down the street, hands in her pockets as the cool air washed over her, and she took a deep breath, just enjoying it.

She stopped in front of a store window when something caught her eye. It was a jacket. A purple leather jacket. The sight of it had her unwillingly flashing back to her first Doctor — the gruff, big-eared, leather-clad Time Lord who had taken her hand and saved her life. She stared at the jacket for a long moment.

Then she went into the store.

∞×∞×∞×∞

It was really no surprise when Rose bullied another cleared for duty signature out of the doctors and demanded to be allowed to jump again.

Mickey, however, did a double take at the sight of the leather jacket she was wearing as she walked into the dimension cannon room. “That’s uh…that’s new,” he said after a moment, tilting his head.

“Yup.” Her lips popped on the p. “Found it yesterday. Thought it looked good. We ready to go?”

To everyone else, of course, it was just a jacket. Mickey was the only one who understood the significance of the leather.

And clearly Rose didn’t want to talk about it.

So Mickey backed off, letting her go to stand in the middle of the room, letting the countdown go…and Rose disappeared in a flash of light.

She staggered as her feet touched down again, orienting herself quickly so she could look around, trying to find something that would help her identify where she was. The first thing she saw was that the sky was pink — not pink like the sun was setting, but actually pink instead of blue.

Well this certainly wasn’t her  _planet_. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t the right  _universe_. Maybe the Doctor was here somewhere, bemoaning the sky color and whining about how he was going to go blind when he looked at it. Maybe he was around here somewhere.

That was all Rose needed to spur her on, and she started running. Caught up as she was, she hadn’t stopped to notice the people she was running by — until she ran into a couple.

“Whoa!” One of them reached out, steadying Rose as she stumbled. “You alright there?”

“Yeah, yeah.” She straightened up, rolling her shoulders back to focus on the couple. It was two men, standing hand-in-hand. “Ah, I’m sorry. In a bit of a rush, lookin’ for someone.”

“Do you know what the person looks like?” One of the men asked. “Maybe we can help.”

“Um…he’s fairly tall, brown hair, completely wild — the hair, I mean, though he is too — usually wears a pinstripe suit…”

Her heart dropped as the men exchanged a look. She could tell before they answered that they hadn’t seen him. “Sorry,” one of them apologized. “If he’s around here though, you’ll find him. You always find who you’re looking for.”

It was a bit of an odd statement, but Rose thanked the men and continued on, a little less enthusiastic now. She did take the time to stop and look, however, and she realized something. Everyone was walking in pairs, each pair walking hand-in-hand. Just like the two men she’d seen.

Couples. Everybody was a couple.

Well that was slightly painful.

Rose wanted to ask a few more people if maybe they had seen the Doctor, but the idea of walking up to these happy couples — and they were all very clearly happy — made her slightly sick, so instead she just found a shady tree to hide under, watching everybody walk around.

She had never actually been to a planet like this, but the Doctor had told her about them — planets where there was someone for everyone, where everybody had a soul mate and no one was ever alone. It was a beautiful thought, the idea that no one would ever have to be alone. But seeing put into practice right when Rose was at her loneliest hurt. A lot.

Her focus zeroed in on one particular couple — a young blonde woman and a wild-haired man, walking by just a few feet away. It was amazing they didn’t walk into anything — they were entirely focused on one another. The rest of the world didn’t seem to exist.

And for a moment Rose was back on that London street in two-thousand-twelve, walking under a banner for the Olympics as she looked at her own wild-haired man in the exact same way. Like he was the only person in the world.

God what she would have given to have that back.

The dimension cannon trigger beeped, letting her know that it was time to go, and she dug it out of her pocket, watching the couple walk away.

But this was no time for moping. She had too much else to do.

She hit the button, letting it take her home.


	6. Finding Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another jump, and this time Rose finds the right universe. But now she has to find the right the Doctor.

Rose hadn’t realized how lonely it would be to be in her own place.

She’d needed her space, of course. She couldn’t keep living at home, she knew she couldn’t. And she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t grateful to be out of the mansion.

But coming home at night and not hearing Tony babbling away while Jackie laughed and bounced him around was strange. She missed seeing him, she missed her parents.

She needed to get out though.

Her flat seemed awfully empty as she walked in that night, dropping her bag on the chair and going to collapse onto the couch, closing her eyes.

The constant jumping was starting to wear on her. She had yet to encounter anything as bad as the planet where she’d gotten hurt, but it was just not being able to  _find_  him.

She knew he was out there, though. And she wasn’t about to give up.

∞×∞×∞×∞

Another jump, another seemingly normal place. Rose sighed as she looked around, hands shoved into her jacket pockets. The purple jacket, like the bag, had become a constant. Her armor against the world.

Caught up as she was in looking around, she almost missed when the TARDIS key hanging around her neck started to warm up. She jumped, pulling it off her neck to stare at it in disbelief. Warm.  _Warm_. It was warm! The TARDIS was here!

 _There are at least ten versions of him running around_ , a voice in the back of Rose’s head reminded her.  _Just because you found the TARDIS doesn’t mean you found the Doctor you’re looking for_.

But this was so much closer than she had ever been. Even if it wasn’t the right Doctor, it was the right  _Earth_. And the dimension cannon would record the coordinates for this Earth, and they could lock on and send her back here. This was one big battle done.

The next, of course, was finding the Doctor.

“Are you alright, Miss?”

Rose jumped, whirling around to find herself a facing a curly haired man with a…a cape? Who the hell wore a cape?

“Uh…no. I mean, yes. Yes, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You don’t seem too certain.”

“Yeah. Just got a bit turned around,” Rose assured him, a bit distractedly. “I think I know where I am now though.”

“Ah, well then in that case maybe you can help me. I’m looking for a young woman, she’s about ye tall, brown hair?”

Rose was barely paying attention at this point. She just wanted to find the TARDIS. “I’m sorry, no. I really have to go, I’m sorry.”

“Right, right, of course. I won’t keep you.”

Rose hurried off without another word, getting a good look at area she was in for the first time. Trees, trees, trees. She was in the woods. But  _where_? What country—?

“Oof!”

Rose stumbled, but managed to keep herself upright as she focused on the person she’d run into — a young, brown-haired woman. Probably who the man was looking for. Oops.

“Sorry,” she apologized with a smile. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Rose assured her, squinting a bit. She looked familiar… “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Brilliant. You haven’t by any chance seen a man with a cape have you?”

“Um yeah, he was back that way.” Rose pointed in the direction she’d come from, still focusing more on the woman. She almost looked like… “Sorry, what’s your name?”

The woman looked a bit taken back by that. “Sarah Jane. Why?”

… _Shite_. “You uh…you look like someone I used to know. Sorry, I have to go.”

And she took off before the woman —  _Sarah Jane_  — could question it. Well, she certainly hadn’t found the right Doctor.

But god damn if he was never going to hear the end of the fact that he used to wear a  _cape_.

∞×∞×∞×∞

“That was it!” She shouted as soon as she landed back in the dimension cannon room. “That was it, that was the right Earth!”

“Are you sure?” Mickey asked, hurrying over to her.

“I saw him! I mean, not a him we know, I think it was a body he had before, he was wearing a cape, but I saw him, and I saw Sarah Jane! Blimey she was young. But it was the right Earth!”

There was a flurry of movement and activity after that as everyone hurried to save the coordinates so they could send Rose back when the dimension cannon was charged.

Rose was bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waited impatiently. “It was _him_ ,” she said, over and over. She had found the Doctor. She had  _found_  him. Not the right him, but it was closer than she had come in  _months_. That was something, right?

“I want to go again,” she said as soon as the dimension cannon was recharged. “Right now. I have time, there’s still time in the day.”

“Rose are you sure—?”

“ _Yes_.”

She grabbed the button before anyone could stop her, and went to the middle of the room. Nobody tried to stop her, at least — they just gave her the countdown and she hit the button, taking off once more.

This time when she landed she was pretty much positive it wasn’t Earth. The sky was green, the buildings shaped oddly — some triangles, some octagons, some unidentifiable shapes. Rose sighed, running a hand through her hair and pulling the key out from under her jacket. It was cold against her palm.

Damn it.

“Human? Don’t see too many of those around here.”

Rose jumped, whirling around to see a young, blonde-haired woman standing behind her. “Uh…just passin’ through. Lookin’ for someone.”

“Really? Me too!” The woman grinned. “I’m Jenny.”

She hesitated for a moment before finally saying, “Rose. Nice to meet you. Who are you looking for?”

“My dad. We — oh, you know what we should walk. If you stand still for too long outside here a rain cloud will form over your head and soak you.” Jenny grabbed Rose’s hand, tugging her along. “Anyways we got separated a while back, I’m trying to find him now. What about you?”

“Just…just a friend.”

Jenny raised an eyebrow at that, completely unconvinced. “A  _friend_ , huh? Must be some friend to have you going to other planets just to find them.”

“It’s really important that I find him.”

“Apparently. So how’re you getting around anyways? Didn’t see any new ships come in today. Certainly none from Earth.”

“Oh, I have a uh…teleporter of sorts. Helps me get around. Takes thirty minutes to recharge though, it’s  _incredibly_  inconvenient sometimes.”

“It sounds it. If you want I can hook you up with a ship, I’ve made friends with some people around here, I’m sure they can help.”

Rose smiled. That was very sweet of her. “I actually need to keep going with the teleporter. It’s programmed to take me home after the thirty minutes, my family freaks out a bit if I don’t come home.”

“Aw, that kinds of sweet.” Jenny smiled.

“What about you? It sounds like you’ve been around here for a while, is your dad here?”

“Oh probably not, I’m sure I would have found him already, he attracts attention. But my ship needed some repairs so I stopped off here to get it done, decided to do some sight seeing. I found out about the rain cloud thing the first day. The hard way.”

Rose laughed at that. “I can’t imagine that was too much fun.”

“I got  _soaked_. And this is my only outfit so I was walking around dripping wet for three hours.”

“I’m sorry.” Of course the fact that Rose was laughing kind of took away from the sentiment.

“Yeah, you sound it,” Jenny teased. “It’s okay, I laughed too. It’s just so stupid. Hey, how about some lunch? My treat.”

“Oh, I couldn’t—”

“Sure you could, come on.” Jenny steered Rose into the nearest food place. “The food here looks a bit strange but it’s amazing, I promise. You won’t be sorry.”

Rose realized she didn’t have a choice, and allowed herself to be sat down in the restaurant. “The cake here is  _amazing_ , they have this one kind, it’s not quite _chocolate_  but it’s really close to chocolate but it’s so much  _stronger_ , it kinda made me sick the first time I tried it — well, not  _sick_  really, more like just…queasy, I guess? I couldn’t finish it. But only because it was strong, it was _delicious_. I took it with me and finished it later.”

God, she had a gob to rival the Doctor’s, Rose thought as her head spun slightly. “Right well. Can’t have cake for lunch, can I?”

“Well you  _could_ , nobody is here to stop you. But they also have  _really_  good sandwiches here so maybe a sandwich and then cake? Also don’t drink the water here. Don’t ask why, just don’t.”

With that warning in mind, Rose ended up getting a sandwich and some type of tea that she’d never heard of, but she figured it had to be safer than whatever was wrong with the water. “So how long have you been lookin’ for your dad?” Rose asked as the drinks were delivered. Jenny shrugged.

“About a year, I think? I haven’t  _just_ been looking though, I’ve been sightseeing a lot too, kinda getting distracted. I mean don’t get me wrong, I wanna find him obviously, but…it’s kinda cool, too. Being out on my own. Seeing the universe by myself. It’s amazing out there.”

Rose smiled a bit at that. Jenny had a point — it  _was_  incredible, seeing all these places, even without the Doctor there to guide her. She loved it.

But she missed the Doctor too.

“What about you? How long have you been looking for your…friend?”

“Friend,” Rose confirmed. “It’s been…” She hesitated, tilting her head as she realized she had lost track of time. “Four or five months.”

“It’s hard,” Jenny said quietly, looking down at the table. “It’s such a big universe.”

 _In more ways then one_ , Rose thought bitterly, biting her lip for a moment. It had taken so long just to find the right bloody universe. And now she had to find the _right_  Doctor in this universe.

It almost seemed impossible.

But those were exactly the kind of odds Rose liked.

“You don’t have any way of tracking your father, huh?” She asked after a minute. She hadn’t missed the way Jenny had commented on the size of the universe. The blonde shook her head.

“I mean, I kind of do but it’s…complicated. He’s a hard man to find.” Yeah Rose knew how  _that_  felt. “It’s okay though. I know I’ll find him when the time is right.”

Rose smiled a bit at that. “Very optimistic.”

“Well if I wasn’t I’d drive myself mad.”

Their food arrived then. Jenny’s recommendation had been spot on — the sandwich was delicious. “I always love this bit,” Rose said as they ate. “Going to new places, trying new food, seeing what’s the same and what’s different from Earth. It’s incredible.”

“What’s Earth like?” Jenny asked curiously, leaning forward. “I haven’t quite gotten that far yet.”

“Oh it’s…just a simple planet. At least when I’m from.” Rose smiled fondly. “Just a bunch of small people living their lives day by day.”

“It sounds amazing to me,” Jenny said dreamily. “I wouldn’t mind seeing it for myself someday.”

“How far away  _is_  Earth from here, anyways?”

“Oh…very, very far. I don’t know the exact distance, honestly, but I know it’s gonna take me a while to get that far. Someday I will, though.”

They finished their sandwiches and Jenny insisted on getting a slice of cake for them to split. Good thing they were splitting it too because she wasn’t joking about how strong it was.

“Oh my  _god_ ,” Rose groaned after a few bites.

“Right?!” Jenny giggled. “It’s horrible, but you just can’t stop eating either.”

“I think I’m gonna have to.” Sometimes the trips with the dimension cannon were a bit rough. The last thing she needed was to land and throw up on her shoes. “Wish I could get it to go though.”

“You want it? I’m gonna be here another day, I can get another slice for myself if I want. Hell I might get a whole one for the road.”

“Oh I couldn’t—”

“Shush.” Jenny waved Rose off as she flagged down the waiter, holding up the plate. “Can we get this to go?”

As the waiter walked off, the dimension cannon beeped. “That’s my ride,” Rose said as she dug the button out to show Jenny.

“Oh that’s kinda cool.”

They got the cake in a plastic container, they paid, and Jenny grabbed Rose’s bag as they walked out of the restaurant, shoving the container into it before she could argue.

“Okay,  _now_  you can leave,” she said with a bright smile, and Rose laughed.

“Right, then. I’m gone.” She wrapped Jenny in a hug that the other blonde happily returned. “Good luck finding your father.”

“Good luck finding your ‘friend.’” The quotes around the word were heavily implied in Jenny’s voice. She didn’t believe for a minute that a  _friend_  was who Rose was jumping all over the universe to find.

“Thank you.”

She stepped back, pressing the button, and Jenny’s smiling face disappeared in a flash of light. When it faded, Rose was back in the dimension cannon room.

“Any luck?” Mickey asked as he steadied her. She shook her head.

After the mandatory “make sure nothing was horribly wrong after the jump” check, Rose and Mickey found a corner to settle down in and talk, and she told him about Jenny. “God, she kinda sounds like the Doctor,” Mickey said as he poked at the cake. He’d taken a few bites but he couldn’t really handle anymore.

“Right?” Rose laughed.

“Hey maybe he’s her father.”

Rose snorted at that. “You’re jokin’, right?”

“Hey, nine-hundred years, he’s gotta have a kid or two runnin’ around, right?”

Rose pressed her lips thin, looking down at the cake sitting between them. He’d mentioned having kids, once. She hadn’t pushed it, she’d assumed he’d meant on Gallifrey and she knew how much he hated talking about his home planet. So of course she’d just let it go.

“I dunno. I doubt it.” She took another bite of cake, making a face. “God it’s gonna take forever to actually eat this. Hopefully it doesn’t go bad. I should’ve asked.”

“Hey, I’ll help,” Mickey volunteered with a grin. “This is amazin’, you shoulda asked what was in it.”

“I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t be able to replicate it on Earth.” Rose rolled her eyes.

“Well I’d certainly be willing to give it a try.”

“Yeah right. You’d burn down the mansion. You can’t even cook macaroni and cheese without setting the stove on fire.”

“Oh  _one_  time. One time and I’m  _never_  going to live it down, am I?”

“Nope.” Rose’s lips popped on the p. It was a habit she had picked up from the Doctor, Mickey knew — he was noticing a lot of things she’d gotten from him.

He wasn’t really sure what to make of that anymore.

It was too late for another jump, unfortunately, so Pete came down to kick Rose out early. “One condition,” he said as he watched her pack up. “You have to go see your mother.”

“ _Dad_ —”

“No. All she’s done is mope since you moved out and quite honestly the staff is afraid to go near her now. I’m not asking you to move back in but just because you’re not living with us anymore doesn’t mean you have to cut her off.”

God Rose hated it when Pete made good points.

“Alright. Fine. I’m goin’.”

He looked quite satisfied with himself as Rose walked past him, making her way to the elevator.

Jackie was in the kitchen making tea when Rose found her. “Mum?” She questioned quietly. Jackie didn’t even turn around.

“Let me guess, Pete sent you.”

“Oh don’t be like that.” Rose loved her mother, she really did. But she could be so  _childish_  sometimes. And Rose had a feeling this was going to be one of those times.

“I don’t need your pity—”

“It’s not  _pity_ , Mum! Yeah, I came to see you because Pete told me to, that doesn’t mean I didn’t  _want_  to though. But if you’re gonna sit there and make me feel guilty because I’m twenty years old and finally moved out—”

“Oh you’ve been tryin’ to get away from me since you learned how to walk,” Jackie snapped, slamming her tea cup down and whirling to look at Rose. “For the love of god you got in a box with an alien just to get away from me!”

“Mum it had nothin’ to do with you!” Rose groaned. “I moved out because I had to, you know I had to. I went with the Doctor because…”

Because it had been a wonderful opportunity, far too good to pass up. An escape from the humdrum ever day-ness of her boring life.

How could she ever say no?

“Why did you  _have_  to move out? Why was it so important that you move out?”

“Because you can’t stand what I have to do and I can’t stop doing it and we both know it.”

“And now you’ve gone and moved out and I can’t even take care of you anymore.”

And Rose knew that was killing Jackie. “Mum I’m an adult. You can’t take care of me forever.”

Jackie was trying hard to be strong, but Rose could see the tears shining in her eyes. “Well I can damn well try.”

Rose sighed as she shuffled forward, wrapping her arms tight around Jackie. “I’m an adult,” she repeated quietly. “You gotta let go eventually.”

Jackie sighed as she hugged Rose back tight. “Try and make me.”


	7. Turn Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose finds the Doctor - but not exactly how she expected.

The next few days passed in much the same way. Jumping in and out of her former universe, trying desperately to find the Doctor. Sometimes she landed on Earth, sometimes she landed on other planets, but they all had one thing in common — the Doctor wasn’t on any of them.

It was horribly discouraging, but at the same time it just drove Rose even harder. She had _finally_ found the right universe. That was one giant step closer than she’d ever been.

And she was going to make the most of it.

Mickey and her parents were understandably worried — Rose was completely obsessed. Just like when they’d been rebuilding the dimension cannon, she started spending nights at Torchwood, barely eating, barely sleeping — every single bit of her was going into planning the next jump, jumping upwards of five times a day as she searched.

“It can’t be healthy for her to be jumping around this much,” Jackie commented one night as she and Pete put Tony down for bed.

“Everyone’s been keeping a close eye on her health, she goes through regular check ups — so far everything is normal.”

“ _So far_ ,” Jackie repeated. “That doesn’t mean it won’t come back to bite her eventually.”

“The doctors are very good at what they do, love. They won’t let anything happen to her.”

  
Which of course did _nothing_ to help Jackie’s worries.

∞×∞×∞×∞

“Come on, come on, come on,” Rose said impatiently as she waited for everyone to get going. She’d spent the night at Torchwood — again — and the fact that everyone was only just getting in and was taking forever to get ready.

“Rose how much coffee have you had?” Mickey asked conversationally. She shot him a glare.

“Alright, we’re ready,” one of the scientists called. Rose grabbed the button, hurrying to the middle of the room. “Start the countdown…”

Rose barely waited for them to hit _one_ before she slammed the button.

And everything went sideways.

Literally.

Colors spun before Rose’s vision as she toppled through…wherever she was going. It was worse than any TARDIS ride she’d ever been on, and that was saying something. Despite not actually being in an enclosed space, she felt as if she were being slammed into walls, over and over and over…

And then it was over. She hit the ground with a thud and an _oof_ , staring at the sky as she gasped for breath. Her stomach turned and she rolled, heaving and suddenly glad she’d skipped breakfast that morning. There was nothing to bring up. Still, the dry heaves felt horrible and it was a relief when it finally ended. She reached for her bag, only to realize too late that she’d left it behind in her hurry.

Wonderful.

She pushed herself up, staggering a bit as she lifted her head, looking at the sky…

Just in time to see a giant, web-like star being shot down.

“Must be Christmas,” she murmured as she walked along, rubbing her head. _God_ that had been one miserable trip. Definitely the worst yet. Her stomach was still turning a bit, and she made a note not to eat anything for a while.

Military trucks rolled by — UNIT, probably. Rose watched them go, quickening her steps to follow until she was running. They were probably going towards whatever was happening.

And if they were here, maybe that meant the Doctor was here too.

She conveniently ignored the fact that the TARDIS key against her skin was completely cold.

She ran flat out, turning a corner to see the chaos and military barricades on the street. Terrific. She wasn’t going to get answers from any soldiers.

That redhead, on the other hand, was just standing on the other side of the barricade, watching…no, wait, she was turning away. She was walking away!

“What happened?!” Rose called as she ran faster, skidding to a halt just past the woman and whirling around, grabbing her arm. “What did they find? I’m sorry, did they find someone?”

The woman looked appropriately bewildered. “I don’t know. A bloke called the Doctor, or something.”

 _The Doctor_! She’d done it, she’d finally done it, she’d found him! “Well, where is he?” She asked, a bit impatiently.

“They took him away. He’s dead.” The words floored Rose — her heart dropped to her toes. No. _No_ … “I’m sorry.” The woman truly did sound it too. She continued on, clearly trying to reassure the poor woman she didn’t know, but who was obviously upset. “I mean, they didn’t say his name. Could be any doctor.”

“I came so far…” Her voice was little more than a whisper. How could this have happened? How could he have _died_?

“It — It could be anyone.” The woman seemed to feel sorry for Rose. It was clear she was highly distressed. Rose whirled to look at her.

“What’s your name?”

“Donna,” the woman replied promptly. “And you?”

 _Don’t tell her your name_. She didn’t know why the thought hit her so suddenly, but it did. And it sounded like a good idea. “Oh…I was just passing by. I shouldn’t even be here. This is wrong.” Of that much she was absolutely certain. This was so completely wrong. “It’s wrong. This is so wrong…” She shook her head, trying to clear it. This was wrong. She knew it for sure. “Sorry, what was it?” Her eyes drifted off, narrowing a bit when she saw what looked like something clinging to Donna’s back. “Donna what?”

The woman — Donna — narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Why do you keep looking at my back?”

Rose winced internally. Blown. “I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” Donna insisted. “You keep looking behind me. You’re doing it now.” She turned, trying to see what was on her back. “What is it? What’s there? Did someone put something on my back?”

Rose took that opportunity to disappear, hiding behind some nearby bushes as she watched Donna look around, bewildered, before finally shaking it off and walking away.

With her gone, Rose turned her attention to the stretcher UNIT was rolling away. The hand hanging off of it. The hand she’d held so many times. The hand she dreamed of holding again…

 _Oh Doctor_ …

How could he have died? _How_? How could he just… _die_? After everything Rose had gone through to get back to him, she finally found him and he was dead?! No! It wasn’t possible! It couldn’t be possible!

But there was the evidence. Staring her right in the face.

The great Doctor, the last of the Time Lords…was dead.

So had she just been chasing some ghost the entire time? Going after someone who was dead? Had she just been wasting her time?

He was dead. He was dead.

He was dead.

Eventually the button beeped, and Rose wiped her eyes, picking herself up and pulling it out of her pocket. Now she had to go home and tell everyone that the Doctor was dead and there was nobody to help them figure out why the stars were going out.

And she was alone. Really and completely alone.

She swallowed hard, hitting the button…

And once again, everything went completely sideways. Rose felt herself tumbling around, bashing into invisible walls, going head over heels. It was as bad as the first time.

Again, she didn’t manage to land on her feet, and hit the ground with a hard thud, gasping hard as she tried to re-inflate her lungs. She waited for the usual flurry of activity that came with her making a particularly dramatic entrance…

But there was nothing. No yelling, no call of voices for medics, just…nothing. Rose blinked heavily as she lifted her head, looking around. She wasn’t in the dimension cannon room. She seemed to have landed in a small alley. Well…that was weird. It was supposed to take her home.

She picked herself up, dusting herself off as she walked out of the alley. There was a large group of people just across the street, gathered around…a hospital. A hospital? She jogged across the street, tapping a young man on the shoulder.

“Excuse me? What’s goin’ on?”

He looked at her like she was mad. “Where’ve you been? The hospital disappeared, they’re sayin’ it went to the moon!”

Nearby, another man dressed in scrubs was talking to the news camera, saying something about rhinos in leather. Beyond him, she saw what was obviously UNIT.

Rose hesitated for a moment before running over to them. “Hey!”

They ignored her, of course. Her eyes zeroed in on a stretcher that was being rolled out of the hospital. “What happened? Did the hospital really go to the moon?”

The one who was in charge stepped forward. “Miss, I’m going to have to ask you too—”

“I bet the Doctor could have stopped this.”

That brought the woman up short. “You knew the Doctor?” Rose nodded, her eyes still on the stretcher. “Were you also familiar with Sarah Jane Smith?”

 _That_ caught Rose’s attention. Her head snapped around to look at the woman. “Yeah. Why?”

“We believe we recovered her body in the hospital, but we need someone to confirm identification. What’s your name?”

“I…” But just as with Donna, she hesitated. Something was _wrong_ with this world, she could feel it. And she didn’t like it. “I…don’t know if I should say. But I know Sarah Jane.”

She was led to a tented area where the bodies had been gathered under blankets, and her heart dropped when one of the blankets was pulled back, and she saw Sarah Jane. She felt sick.

“Y-Yeah. Yeah. That’s her.”

The Doctor was dead, Sarah Jane was dead…this world was _wrong_. So, so very wrong.

“What happened?”

“We’re not entirely sure yet, we’re still piecing it together. As far as we can tell, the hospital was transported to the moon.”

Sarah Jane must have known something was going on in the hospital. Just like at the school. That was why she was there. Trying to stop it.

And this time it had killed her.

The UNIT woman was talking again, but Rose wasn’t listening. She tuned back in when she heard TARDIS, however.

“Wait, what?” Apparently they’d recovered the TARDIS from under the Thames. “Can I see it? Please?”

She didn’t know how she managed to get the woman to trust her — Captain Magambo, she eventually introduced herself, clearly expecting Rose to do the same, but Rose just shook her head — but before long she found herself being brought to the room where they were keeping the TARDIS.

The poor box looked so sad, just sitting there. Rose swallowed hard as she flashed back to what the Doctor — the leather-clad, big-eared Time Lord — had said about letting the TARDIS gather dust and die on a street corner.

That was exactly what it was doing now. And it was sad.

She pulled her key off her neck, letting herself in much to the captain’s surprise. “We’ve been trying to get in for weeks, but nothing works.”

“The door won’t open without a key,” Rose said quietly as she walked up the ramp to the console. The room was dim, the lights flickering and dying overhead. “Hey old girl,” she said quietly, resting a hand on the console, and the TARDIS gave a small hum of acknowledgment. “You miss him too, huh?”  
  


Another hum, and Rose sighed. “Yeah, I know. None of this is right. There’s something _wrong_ , it’s like I’m trapped in this world. I tried to go home and it just bounced me right back. But I don’t know what to do. I can’t fix this. I’m not the Doctor.”

She scrubbed her eyes, trying desperately not to cry again. This was just completely out of her league. She wasn’t a brilliant Time Lord, she was just a silly little human jumping through universes trying to find the man who could _actually_ save everyone.

She was useless.

Rose sighed, dropping down onto the jump seat and running her hands through her hair. “What do I do? What do I do?”

She didn’t even know where to begin looking.

The TARDIS did, though. Even without the Doctor she had continued monitoring time-lines, trying to figure out where everything had gone wrong — because she knew that this world wasn’t right either. And she thought she had figured it out.

But how to tell the blonde?

Rose jumped, surprised, as an image suddenly flashed through her mind. A woman. A redheaded woman. “Hang on…I know her.” She sat up, blinking. “I saw her…the night the Doctor died. She was there. I talked to her. Are you saying _she_ has something to do with this?”

But she was just a human…wasn’t she?

The TARDIS didn’t answer, though. Rose was going to have to figure it out for herself, then.

The button had long since beeped, and Rose stood up, pulling it out of her pocket. “Right. Time to get to work, I guess.”

The trip wasn’t nearly as bad this time, at least. She wondered if the TARDIS had something to do with that. She landed in a hallway, stumbling a bit and managing to catch herself on the wall. Nearby voices caught her attention, and she made her way slowly towards the room, peeking in. It was an office, that much was necessary. A man was standing at the front of the gathered crowd, pulling a ticket out of a bucket.

“First prize, a luxury weekend break,” the man announced, “and the winner is ticket two-five-eight-two-three.”

There was a moment of silence as everyone checked their tickets. “Ha!” An exuberant redhead shouted suddenly, jumping up. “Take that, you lot fired me, now you’re paying for my vacation!”

The redhead…the one the TARDIS had showed her. The one she’d seen on the street. The one who was supposedly at the root of all this. Rose still didn’t understand any of this, but she filed this away in her mind, stepping back and hurrying away before anyone could catch her. She killed time for thirty minutes before the button beeped, and she took off once more.

Again, the TARDIS buffered her, and when she came out in a dark alley it was like she was being forced through. She stumbled ran, trying to catch herself.

“Blimey!” She heard a voice call, and she turned to see the redhead hurrying toward her. “Are you alright? What was that, fireworks or…?”

“I don’t know,” Rose said in a good imitation of stupidity. “I was just walking along. That’s weird.”

The woman stared at her for a moment — Donna — her name was Donna, Rose remembered. “You’re the one,” she said after a minute. “Christmas Eve. I met you in town.”

“Donna?” Rose prompted. “Isn’t it?”

“What’s your name?”

Rose did a horrible job of side-stepping that question. “How’re you doin’?” Was there something on Donna’s back? Rose tried to tilt around around to look at it, to get a good look. “You’re looking good. How’s things, what have you been up to?”

“You’re doing it again.” Donna sounded frustrated.

“What?”

“Looking behind me. People keep doing that, looking at my back.”

That caught Rose’s interest. “What sort of people?”

“People in the street. Strangers. I just catch them sometimes, staring at me. Like they’re looking at something. And then I get home, and I look, and there’s nothing there.” As she spoke she turned, trying to see her back, turning around like a dog trying to catch its tail. “See? Look, now I’m doing it!”

Rose was barely paying attention. Her mind was racing. This woman was important somehow, clearly. “What are you doing for Christmas?” She asked suddenly. Christmas. Christmas was _bad_. Bad things always happened on Christmas.

“What am I what?” Donna was clearly bewildered.

“Next Christmas. Any plans?”

“I don’t know.” Donna was definitely aggravated now. And with good reason, Rose supposed. She was being rather vague and annoying. Just like the Doctor. “That’s ages away. Nothing much, I suppose. Why?”

“Just, I think you should get out, you and your family.” Get away from Christmas in London. Always a good idea. “Don’t stay in London. Just leave the city.”

“What for?” It _was_ an odd request, Rose supposed.

“Nice hotel, Christmas break?” She suggested innocently.

“Can’t afford it,” Donna replied, waving Rose off.

“Well, no, you got that raffle ticket.” Maybe she had seen the drawing before it happened for Donna. It would make sense. Especially if the TARDIS was really directing her.

“How do you know about that?” Donna demanded. Again, Rose side-stepped.

“First prize, luxury weekend break. Use it, Donna Noble.”

But Donna shook her head. “Why won’t you tell me your name? I think you should leave me alone.”

And with that she walked away. Rose was surprised when the button beeped — it hadn’t been half an hour yet. What was the TARDIS doing?

It didn’t matter. She could get out of here. She hit the button, disappearing in a flash of light.


	8. Turn Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose continues exploring the new universe and finds an old friend.

This world was a nightmare come to life.

That was the only way Rose could describe it, really. A world without the Doctor — it was awful. Absolutely awful. It made her sick just thinking about it. UNIT was doing it’s best to keep up, to protect it in the Doctor’s place, and Rose had been surprised to discover that Jack was here as well, leading a Torchwood team (how had he fallen into _that_?), but there was only so much those two groups could do (especially Jack, who only had two other people working for him).

At the moment Rose was watching what UNIT believed to be the entrance to Jack’s Torchwood. She knew this was probably a bad idea, but she couldn’t help herself — she _needed_ to see Jack.

That was proving to be easier said then done, however. She’d seen his teammates leave, but he seemed to live in their underground headquarters.

Still, he had to come out eventually. Even just for alcohol, right?

It was nearly a week before Jack finally made an appearance. Rose started to call out to him, but the words stuck in her throat, and then he was walking away. She scrambled after him, trying to figure out the best way to initiate contact…

And then, when she was about three feet away, Jack solved the problem for her, whirling around and pulling a gun out from his jacket, pointing it right at her. Rose threw her hands up at once, surrendering even as Jack froze, eyes wide.

“…Rose?”

She smiled weakly, waving. “Hi.”

There was a beat of silence — and then Jack let out a triumphant yell as he scooped Rose into his arms, spinning her in his excitement. Rose laughed as she clung to him, burying her nose in the collar of his jacket. Maybe talking to him was a mistake…

But damn if it wasn’t nice to see a familiar face.

Jack set her down and pulled away, and Rose would’ve laughed if she hadn’t found her lips so suddenly occupied with his. “Any chance you can get, huh?” She gasped when he pulled away, and he grinned in return.

“Tell me you didn’t miss me.”

Rose just shook her head, laughing as she pressed against him again, snuggling into his chest. God it was so good to see him.

Wherever Jack had been off to was forgotten in favor of going straight back inside with Rose. “Torchwood working out of a fishing hut now?” She asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked around the small shack. Jack chuckled.

“We’re a very small operation, we don’t need much space.” Even as he spoke he went behind the counter, hitting the button to open the door. Rose watched, wide-eyed, as the wall slid open, revealing a staircase that led down.

“It’s like a bloody sci-fi movie.”

“Well we’re all about keeping up with the latest and greatest sci-fi cliches around here,” Jack said as he took her hand, leading her down. Rose could hear an echo of machines whirring and beeping below them.

Her mouth dropped when they came out and she saw what was waiting for them.

“…Whoa.”

“Nice, huh?” Jack puffed his chest out, proud. Across the room, Rose could see two people staring at them — Jack’s team. Jack waved them over, pulling Rose with them so they could all meet in the middle. “Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, meet Rose Tyler. She’s an old friend of mine.”

“Looked a bit more than friendly to me,” Gwen said dryly, pointing to a nearby computer, and Jack made a face.

“I told you I don’t need a babysitter when I go out, Gwen.”

“Better safe than sorry,” Gwen insisted. Jack just rolled his eyes.

Ianto went to make tea, and Jack shook Gwen off so he could take Rose on a tour of the Hub. “You’re all here kind of late, aren’t you?” Rose asked they walked. Jack hesitated for a moment before answering.

“We uh…we live here, actually. I’ve lived here for a while, Ianto and Gwen moved in after that ship crashed into Buckingham Palace. This is probably the safest place in London anymore.”

“They don’t have any family?”

“Not really. Ianto’s got a sister with a family, but they lost touch after everyone was relocated and Gwen’s husband was killed when the ship came down.” Rose’s heart dropped at that. Poor Gwen.

“So it’s just the three of you down here together? Sounds like a sitcom.”

“The American con-man, the Brit, and the Welsh.” Jack considered it for a moment before laughing. “I’d watch it.”

As they walked along Jack wound an arm around Rose’s shoulders, pulling her closer. “How’re you?” He asked after a hesitant moment. He knew about the Doctor, of course. His heart had nearly broken when he’d heard. “You’re dead, you know.”

“What?” Oh. Wait. She’d been on the list of the dead after Canary Wharf. Right. “Oh, yeah. Uh…long story.”

“Well we’ve got all night.” Jack paused for a moment. “Were…were you with him when he…?” His voice drifted off as Rose shook her head. “Not by your choice, I’m guessing.”

“Nope.” Rose’s voice was slightly clipped, but her lips still popped on the p.

“You know I gotta ask…”

“Somethin’s wrong in this world, Jack,” Rose cut him off and he blinked, surprised. “It’s just…it’s not _right_. The Doctor shouldn’t be dead.”

“I know, sweetheart.” Jack’s voice was heavy. “I know, but—”

“But _nothing_ , Jack. I’m not just bein’ irrational here, there’s somethin’ _wrong_.” She threw caution to the winds, pulling the dimension cannon button out of her pocket. “See this? This thing has been helpin’ me travel between universes — I was trapped somewhere, that’s why I wasn’t with him, but I managed to get back, and this is supposed to take me home after a jump, but ever since I got here all I’ve been able to do is bounce from one place to another within this world. It’s like somethin’ is keepin’ me trapped here.”

Jack, to his credit, didn’t immediately write Rose off, for which she was grateful. He wasn’t a Time Lord, of course, he couldn’t sense what was wrong, but he knew as well as anyone how time lines could go so horribly awry.

And if Rose said something was wrong, then he was inclined to believe her.

The problem was how to fix it.

“So what do you think is wrong?” Jack asked as they started back to the main part of the Hub. Gwen had disappeared, and Ianto was sitting at the computer sipping his tea. Jack hesitated for a moment before tugging her toward the elevator so they could head up to the roof and talk in peace. Rose waited until they were up there to speak again.

“I don’t think the Doctor is supposed to be dead. That seems to be where all of this started. The Doctor died and suddenly I can’t go home and the world is going to hell.”

Jack pressed his lips thin. He couldn’t help but feel like Rose was grasping at straws. “I mean…the Doctor’s gotta die eventually Rose. We all do.” Oh the irony in that. “Well, most of us do. But the Doctor’s not immortal.”

“I’m not sayin’ he is, but come on Jack.” Rose could tell he didn’t really believe her on this, and it bugged her. “You know somethin’ isn’t right—”

“That doesn’t mean it necessarily has anything to do with the Doctor dying, though,” Jack cut her off gently. “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up, Rosie. It could be that he was meant to die and there’s a blip somewhere else in the time line that’s messing everything up. It could just be a bad coincidence that it started at the same time the Doctor died.”

“There’s no such thing as coincidences,” Rose insisted. “I keep running into this woman, I saw her when I found out the Doctor was dead and I ran into her a couple more times…it keeps coming down to her. I think she has something to do with it.”

Jack was understandably skeptical. But for Rose, he’d give the benefit of the doubt. “Alright. You got a name?”

They went back downstairs and had Ianto do a search on Donna Noble. It wasn’t easy — records were a bit of a mess these days. But they finally managed to dig something up. Donna, for all intents and purposes, had lived an entirely unremarkable life. Born to a middle-class family, her father died when she was sixteen, she never went to university and ever since finishing school she’d worked in a never-ending line of temporary jobs up until a few months earlier when she’d gotten a permanent job — and then been fired not long after. She was currently living in Leeds with her mother and grandfather.

“There’s absolutely nothing special about her,” Jack commented as they read over her records. “I’m sorry, Rose.”

“No, there has to be somethin’,” Rose insisted. “Somethin’ we’re missin’, somethin’ that wouldn’t make its way into official records…somethin’. _Anything_.”

“She’s just another human,” Ianto said quietly as he scanned the records over with them. “That’s all.”

“I don’t believe that,” Rose said stubbornly. There was a reason she’d been drawn to Donna — a reason the dimension cannon had pulled her to this woman specifically. There _had_ to be a reason. “The Doctor always said that he was drawn to specific points in time — his time sense or something.”

“Yeah but that was a…him thing,” Jack said carefully. “I don’t think your machine is doing what he could do.”

Rose sighed, running her hands through her hair. Jack wasn’t going to cave on this note.

But Rose knew in her heart that she was right.

And the Doctor was always the one who had told her to follow her heart.

Jack offered to let Rose stay in the Hub, an offer she happily accepted. The dimension cannon had stopped working after her last jump — she suspected the TARDIS was still controlling it — and she had been stuck living day after day. UNIT had provided her with barracks but they were depressing and lacking friendly faces.

Being able to stay with Jack was nice.

Ianto and Gwen went to bed, and Jack brought Rose down to his room with some alcohol so they could catch up for real. “Not exactly hypervodka,” he said with a chuckle as he poured the shots, “but I’m sure we can still get good and drunk off this.”

Rose smiled as she took a glass and threw it back. “So how’d you end up at Torchwood, Jack? The Doctor said you were back helping to rebuild after the Daleks…”

“Did he?” Jack snorted, taking a shot as well. “What a coward.”

Rose tilted her head at that, curious. “What do you mean?”

“He left me on that station, Rose.” Jack hated to say it, hated to speak ill of the dead. But Rose wasn’t a child, and she deserved the truth. “He just…took off.”

Rose made a face, frowning. “Why…Why would he do that?” It didn’t make any sense. “Are you sure he knew you were alive?”

“Not really,” Jack admitted, picking up another shot. “But…there’s something else. I can’t die.” Rose blinked at that. “I mean…I can. I do. Quite often actually. But I always…come back to life. I don’t know what happened there but every time I die I come back to life. After I saw the TARDIS leave I used my vortex manipulator to bounce back but I overshot and landed in eighteen-sixty-nine. It burnt out and I…ended up living through up to today.”

Rose just stared at Jack, stunned. “That’s…impossible.”

“Tell me about it.” Jack threw back the shot, chuckling. “But it’s true. Ask Gwen and Ianto, they’ve seen it.”

“I believe it,” Rose assured him, still a bit shell shocked. “Just…wow.”

“Yeah. I’d been trying to find the Doctor for a while, to see if he knew something about it, but…”

But obviously that hadn’t worked out for him. Rose sighed, shifting closer to hug him. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I wish I could help you.” Most of her memories about what had happened when she’d returned to the space station were still fuzzy even now. The Doctor had told her everything — or so she thought — but she didn’t remember it.

Jack grinned as he hugged her back. “It’s alright. It’s not a bad life. And look, I’m the head of Torchwood. Kind of.”

“Yeah…mind explaining that one?”

“Oh that’s a _long story_. Really long. Like…years and years and years long.”

Rose gave Jack a small nudge, smiling. “I’ve got all night.”

∞×∞×∞×∞

Rose ended up staying at the Hub for a couple weeks. It was so much better being around Jack. Gwen wasn’t exactly the warmest person in the world — Jack told Rose that Gwen had changed a lot when she’d lost her husband, and it was nothing personal — but Ianto was welcoming, quiet and happy to just sit with Rose when she didn’t feel like talking (which was a refreshing break from Jack, who felt the need to hear about everything that had happened since they’d last seen each other).

“So…you and Jack,” Rose commented during one sitting session with Ianto. They were on the couch — Gwen had disappeared into her room and Jack had gone out for food. As Rose watched, Ianto’s ears turned a bit red.

“Yeah?” He already knew what she was going to ask of course. Rose had accidentally caught the two men kissing the night before. Ianto had seen her before she tried to slip away.

“You ah…you two.”

He nodded slowly, ears still a bit red. “Yeah.” His voice was very matter-of-fact.

“Good taste.”

Ianto looked over, raising an eyebrow. “Were you two ever…?”

“Oh…no. No. Not for a lack of trying on his part of course — well, you know him.” Ianto smirked a bit, and Rose laughed. “Yeah, of course you know him. But I had my eye on someone else when I knew him.”

“The Doctor.” _That_ took Rose by surprise. As far as she knew Jack had never really told his team about the Doctor. “I hear you two talking about him sometimes. The way you say his name…”

Rose smiled softly. “You’re really are smart, Ianto. You know that right?”

Ianto chuckled, but he had no chance to answer before the doors slid open, and Jack blew in. “TV, on now,” he snapped as he dropped the bags with their Chinese food. “Gwen!”

Ianto scrambled to turn on the TV, where a breaking news alert was flashing. They gathered around, Gwen hurrying out to join them.

“ATMOS…” Ianto murmured. “I’ve never heard of that.”

“It’s some car device, from what I gathered,” Jack reported. “It’s not as bad here, we don’t have enough petrol, but there are other countries…they’re choking on the gas.”

“Oh god,” Rose whispered. Thousands of people. Choking. Dying.

It was terrifying.

“That’s alien,” Gwen said as they watched. “It has to be.”

“My thoughts exactly. So let’s get to work.”

∞×∞×∞×∞

It took a few days to finally find the source of the disaster. It was easy enough to piece everything together when they tracked the ATMOS device back to a place called Rattigan Academy, and the ambitious teenager who ran it. Jack handed him over to UNIT without a second thought and they took over the school and the teleport he had there.

“Sonatarans!” Jack groaned as he ran back out of the teleport, having returned from wherever it took them.

“Gesundheit,” Gwen deadpanned.

“They’re an alien race, they thrive on fighting and war,” Jack explained as he disabled the teleport so no one could follow him. “I don’t know what they want this planet for but they’re not going to stop until they get it or they die.”

“So we kill them,” Gwen said as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. Rose bristled a bit that. The Doctor would have given them a chance…

But he wasn’t there.

“It’s not that easy.” Even as Jack spoke he was working, building something. “They like to fight and they’ve earned their egos — they don’t lose easily. Going in there guns blazing isn’t going to do any good.”

“Well if it was hopeless you wouldn’t be doing whatever you’re doing,” Ianto pointed out, and Jack stopped to give him a grin.

“Oh no, it’s not hopeless. Stupid, but not hopeless. What we have to do is blow up the ship, which at the same time will burn off everything in the sky.”

Rose’s mind worked a bit faster than Ianto’s and Gwen’s. “Blow it up…while you’re on it.”

“Yup.”

“No!” Ianto and Gwen protested at the same time.

“You can’t do that Jack, even if you somehow survive—”

“Yeah, they’ll probably take me hostage or something. But if it puts an end to this—”

“What if you go up and put it on a timer or something?” Ianto suggested. “And then come back?”

“As soon as I’m gone they’ll disable it and we’ll be right back where we started.” Jack shook his head. “I have to stay and make sure they don’t have a chance.”

Gwen and Ianto exchanged looks. “Look, Jack, you’re charming and all…”

“But I doubt even you’d be able to distract an entire ship full of aliens on your own,” Ianto finished the thought.

“Well I clearly never told you about the ages of fifteen to eighteen,” Jack joked. “I’ll figure it out.”

“We’ll help,” Gwen said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Ianto nodded in agreement.

“What — no,” Jack said at once. “I’m not letting you two—”

“Sine when do you we listen to what you _let_ us do?”

Jack just stared at them for a moment, a small smirk pulling at his lips. “Torchwood Three’s last great stand?”

“It’s all up to Torchwood Four now.”

They laughed — at least until Jack saw the look on Rose’s face. He sighed as he walked over to her, taking her face between her hands and kissing her forehead before pulling her in for a tight hug.

“I’ll come too,” she whispered, holding on tight.

“Not a chance, sweetheart,” Jack replied lightly. “You have a universe to fix, remember?” A small sob slipped off Rose’s lips as she held on tighter. “Hey, it’s okay. Hopefully you’re right and you can fix this and this won’t be the end of the line for us.”

“No pressure, though, right?”

“None whatsoever.”

They finally separated, and Jack turned to face his team. He stopped for a moment to pull Gwen in for a hug before grabbing Ianto and pressing his lips against the other man’s. Gwen looked away to give them some privacy, and Rose couldn’t help but notice that for the first time since they’d met, Gwen looked completely at peace.

She was going to die. And she was okay with that.

“Right,” Jack said when he and Ianto finally separated. “Into the void, team.”

He wrapped one arm around Ianto’s shoulders and one arm around Gwen’s, leading them into the transport. Rose stood back, watching with tears slipping down her cheeks as they disappeared in a flash of light.

As soon as they were gone, the dimension cannon trigger, still tucked in her pocket, beeped. The TARDIS was letting her jump again.

She pulled it out, wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath before pressing the button.

When she reappeared again, she was standing outside, in a darkened neighborhood, the wind blowing lightly.

She had about a minute to orient herself before a familiar redhead walked around the corner. Rose trained her expression into one of apathy as she met Donna Noble’s gaze.

“Hello,” the woman greeted her cautiously.

“Hi.”


	9. Turn Left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final part of Turn Left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is entirely unbeta-ed. I'm aware of the typos believe me. I'll fix it later but right now I just really want to be done with it.

She and Donna found a bench at a nearby park to settle down at, Rose watching the sky the whole time. She knew any moment it would be over.

“It’s the ATMOS devices,” she said finally. “We’re lucky, it’s not so bad here. Britain hasn’t got that much petrol. But all over Europe, China, South Africa, they’re getting choked by gas.”

“Can’t anyone stop it?” Donna asked quietly.

“Yeah, they’re trying right now.” Rose had to struggle to keep her voice even. “This little band of fighters, on board the Sontaran ship. Any second now…”

Almost on queue, the entire sky lit up, turning red before the gas burned off. “And that was?” Donna asked, a little stunned.

“That was the Torchwood team.” Rose’s voice was heavy. “Gwen Cooper, Ianto Jones, they gave their lives. And Captain Jack Harkness has transported to the Sontaran home world.”  _God Jack I’m so sorry._  “There’s no one left.”

Donna was quiet for a long moment. “You’re always wearing the same clothes.” She certainly knew how to focus on the important stuff. “Why won’t you tell me your name?”

Okay that one actually  _was_  a little more important. “None of this was meant to happen. There was a man.” This… _wonderful_  man…” She missed him so much… “And he stopped it. The Titanic, the Adipose, the ATMOS. He stopped them all from happened.”

“That Doctor?” Donna questioned. She had a good memory. It had been months since that night. For her, at least.

“You knew him,” Rose said quietly.

“Did I?” Donna sounded bewildered. “When?”

“I think you dream about him sometimes.” Rose wasn’t sure where that knowledge was coming from. The TARDIS, maybe. “It’s a man in a suit. Tall. Thin man. Great hair.” She sighed. “Some  _really_  great hair.”

Rose could tell by the look on Donna’s face that she was right. “Who are you?”

“I was like you.” Oh so very long ago. “I used to be you. You’ve traveled with him, Donna. You’ve traveled with the Doctor, in a different world.”

“I never met him, and he’s dead.”

God that stung. So much. “He died underneath the Thames on Christmas Eve, but you were meant to be there. He needed someone to stop him, and that was you. You made him leave. You saved his life.”

Donna’s eyes went distant for a moment, and Rose couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in her mind. “Stop it,” the redhead said suddenly, jumping up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Leave me alone!”

“Something’s  _coming_  Donna,” Rose insisted, standing up as well. “Something worse.”

“The whole world is stinking,” Donna snapped back. “How can anything be worse than this.”

“Trust me,” Rose insisted. “We need the Doctor more than ever. I’ve…” Her voice choked for a minute, and she had to stop and take a breath. It wasn’t real. This world wasn’t real. She just had to remember that. “I’ve been pulled across from a different universe because every single universe is in danger. It’s coming, Donna. It’s coming from across the stars and nothing can stop it.”

Donna seemed stunned for a moment. “What is?” She asked finally.

“The darkness.”It seemed dramatic, but it was also true.

“Well, what do you keep telling me for?” Donna asked, exasperated. “What am I supposed to do? I’m nothing special. I mean, I’m — I’m  _not_. I’m nothing special I’m a temp. I’m not even that! I’m  _nothing_!”

Rose shook her head, torn between crying and laughing for some reason. “Donna Noble, you’re the most important woman in the whole of creation.” She had created this world, somehow. And she could fix all of this. Rose knew it.

“Oh, don’t,” Donna snapped. “Just don’t. I’m tired. I’m so tired.”

Rose knew that feeling. “I need you to come with me.”

Donna snorted a bit. “Yeah. Well, blonde hair might on the men, but you ain’t shifting me, lady.”

A small smile pulled at Rose’s lips. “That’s more like it.”

“I’ve got plenty more.”

“Then…you’ll come with me.” Rose wasn’t sure why she was so confident on that note. “Only when you want to.”

“You’ll have a long wait, then.”

“Not really, just three weeks.” The words came out of nowhere. The TARDIS again. “Tell me, does your grandfather still own that telescope.”

To say that Donna was stunned was an understatement. “He never lets go of it.”

“Three weeks time.” Rose, in contrast, was confident. “But you’ve got to be certain. Because when you come with me Donna…sorry, so sorry…but you’re going to die.”

She felt herself fading away, and new the TARDIS was calling her back. For a moment everything was dark…and then she was back in the console room. Her legs were shaking, and she collapsed onto the jumpseat, covering her eyes as she tried not to cry.

She just wanted to go  _home_.

“Three weeks?” She asked the ceiling, and the TARDIS gave a weak hum. The poor thing was dying, she knew — using all of her energy now to help and direct Rose. “What’s in three weeks?”

Not that the ship could actually answer, of course. Rose was sure she’d know when the time came, though.

∞×∞×∞×∞

The next three days passed slow as hell. By the end of the first week Rose was going out of her mind. She hated  _waiting_  for something to happen — it drove her mad.

Not that she was just sitting around twiddling her thumbs. The TARDIS gave her small bits of information here and there, allowing her to figure out what had happened. Something had been changed in Donna’s time line — something that had prevented her from meeting the Doctor. And that was where everything had gone wrong.

It gave Rose just the smallest bit of satisfaction to know she had been right about this world. It was wrong, utterly wrong. It wasn’t supposed to exist.

So if they could fix the point at which it had gone wrong, if they could fix that…then everything would go back to normal.

And the Doctor would be saved.

But what about Donna?

“There has to be a way to save her,” Rose insisted at the console. So many people had died already, she didn’t think she’d be able to stand one more.

She wanted so desperately to save Donna. Why wouldn’t that be possible?

Of course there was also the problem of they’d have to send Donna back in time. The TARDIS had been allowing them to salvage the technology they needed in order to do such a thing, but it was all highly experimental, and could very well kill Donna before she even managed to fix the point in time that had been messed up. Rose wanted to test it first, but it was a one-way trip. And she couldn’t afford to be trapped back at the beginning of all of this. Not again.

If she had to relive this hell again she wasn’t entirely sure what she would do.

“She doesn’t  _have_  to die.” Rose couldn’t let it go. “Please just…let me save her. Let me save  _one_.” That was all she wanted. One person saved. She’d already failed Jack. His team. Sarah Jane and her family.

Not everyone had to die. Right?

But the TARDIS didn’t respond. The ship felt bad for the position Rose was in here — sending Donna to her death. The other woman didn’t deserve it.

But it was the only way the universe would be righted.

Rose waited, almost desperately, for the ship to give her an alternative —  _any_ alternative. She just needed one idea — even a  _vague_  one, she could make something vague work.

But there was nothing.

“Why  _not?!_ ”

In a moment of rage Rose whirled, kicking the jump seat hard. “I’m so  _sick_  of this bloody universe!” She yelled at the rotor, tears burning in her eyes. “I just want to go  _home_!”

She didn’t even know where home was anymore. But she knew it had to better than here.

∞×∞×∞×∞

It was three weeks, almost to the day, when the dimension cannon beeped again. Rose pulled it out of her pocket, sighing. And she pressed the button.

She appeared on a windy hill just in time to hear Donna’s grandfather yell, “Oh my god! Donna, look. The stars are going out!”

Rose’s heart jumped for a moment. This was it, then. The Darkness.

Donna turned, almost as if she knew Rose was there, waiting for her. “I’m ready,” she said quietly. Rose nodded. They walked down the hill silently, Rose calling UNIT for someone to come pick them up. They stood in silence, Donna looking very much like she was about to sick. Rose wanted to offer her some kind of comfort, but she didn’t even know what to say anymore.

So they just waited.

It was a relief when the truck finally got there for them, though they remained quiet the entire ride back to the warehouse.

The scientists were hard at work when they returned. “Ma’am,” Magambo said with a salute when Rose walked in with Donna.

“I’ve told you, don’t salute,” Rose said with an eye-roll as she walked to a computer to check how things were coming along.

“Well if you’re not going to tell us your name.” Rose sighed. She should’ve just come up with a title. It always seemed to work with the Doctor.

“What, you don’t know either?” Donna sounded surprised — and a little relieved. She wasn’t the only one in the dark.

“I’ve crossed too many different realities,” Rose informed them bother. “Trust me, the wrong word in the wrong place can change an entire casual nexus.”

Magambo looked a bit exasperated. “She talks like that a lot,” the woman informed Donna. “And you must be Ms. Noble.”

“Donna,” the redhead corrected.

“Captain Erisa Magambo. Thank you for doin this.”

“I don’t even know what I’m doing.” Donna sounded resigned, however. Whatever was coming, she was ready.

“Is it awake?” Rose interrupted. A vague voice in the back of her head informed her she was acting like the Doctor. She ignored it.

“Seems to be quiet today,” Magambo reported. “Ticking over. Like it’s waiting.”

Rose walked closer to the TARDIS, frowning when she saw the ship. The poor thing had been getting weaker and weaker every day.

She looked back to see Donna staring. “Do you want to see it?” She asked quietly.

“What’s a police box?” Donna sounded bewildered.

“They salvaged it from underneath the Thames. Just go inside.”

“What for?”

Rose smirked a bit. “Just go in.”

After a moment of hesitation, Donna stepped into the TARDIS. Rose stepped closer, tilting her head as she tried to see in, waiting for Donna’s reaction. She had a feeling it would be a good one.

“No  _way_!”

And she was right. The redhead back out, walking around to examine the TARDIS’ dimensions, and then went back inside again, looking around in shock. She was stunned when she finally came out again. Rose nearly laughed.

“What do you think?”

“…Can I have a coffee?”

Someone got a coffee for Donna, who was clearly in shock, and finally Rose led her into the TARDIS to show her around properly and explain.

“Time and Relative Dimensions in Space,” she recited as they walked around the console. Her voice was heavy. “This room used to shine with light.” She sighed, reaching out to brush a hand against the time rotor. “I think it’s dying.”

The rotor bobbed just a bit — still living, even if only just. “Still trying to help.” Stubborn. Just like her pilot.

“And it belonged to the Doctor?” Donna questioned uncertainly.

“He was a Time Lord.” Rose stopped and looked back at Donna. “Last of his kind.”

“But if he was so special, what was he doing with me?” The entire concept clearly baffled Donna, even more than the bigger on the inside thing.

“He thought you were brilliant.” Rose wasn’t sure how she knew that — the TARDIS, most likely. It was getting hard to figure out what information the TARDIS was feeding her.

“Don’t be stupid,” Donna scoffed.

“But you are,” Rose insisted. That she just knew. Everyone was brilliant in some way. It was just a matter of whether they acknowledged it. “It just took the Doctor to show you that, simply by being with him.” She ducked her head, looking at the console, brushing her fingers over the buttons she’d once pressed to help him pilot. “He did the same to me. To everyone he touches.”

Donna tilted her head, curious. “Were you and him…?”

But the words caught in her throat when she saw the look on Rose’s face. The emptiness, the dark, almost dead eyes.

That wasn’t a question that was allowed.

Rose reached out, gently brushing a hand against Donna’s shoulder. “Do you want to see it?” She asked quietly.

“No,” Donna insisted. Then she sighed. “Go on, then.”

Rose led Donna back out, where a circle of mirrors and an arc of lights had been set up. “We don’t know how the TARDIS works,” Rose admitted as she set Donna up. “But we’ve managed to scrape off the surface technology, enough to show you the creature.”

“It’s a creature?” Donna’s voice hopped up a bit. Rose gently led her to the middle of the circle, gripping both arms comfortingly.

“Just stand here.”

  
She’d intended to say more, to try and comfort Donna, but then Magambo was speaking. “Out of the circle, please,” she ordered, and Rose looked back.

“Yes ma’am,” she muttered sarcastically, giving Donna another quick squeeze before stepping away and walking out of the circle.

“Can’t you stay with me?” Donna sounded terrified. Rose didn’t blame her.”

“Ready,” Magambo called. “And activate!”

The lights switched on, and Rose saw that Donna had squeezed her eyes shut. She could also now clearly see the giant beetle clinging to Donna’s back. Oh god. “Open your eyes, Donna,” she called gently.

“Is it there?” Donna was near hysterical.

“Open your eyes. Look at it.”

“I can’t!”

“It’s part of you, Donna.” Not the most comforting thing ever, but Rose had to get her to look, to see it. “Look.”

Donna opened her eyes, catching sight of the thing in the mirrors — and promptly freaked out.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay!” Rose tried to call, comforting her the best she could from the outer part of the circle. “Calm down, Donna. Donna? Donna!” Finally the redhead managed to focus on her, even if only just. “Okay.”  
  


“What is it?!”

“…We don’t know.” Rose hated saying that.

“Oh, thanks!” Donna hated hearing it.

“It feeds off time.” The TARDIS was feeding Rose information again. “By changing time. By making someone’s life take a different turn, like…er…meetings never made, children never born, a life never loved. But with you, it’s…”

It had built an entire universe around Donna. That was odd.

“When was that?” Donna asked in disbelief.

“Oh, you wouldn’t remember. It was the most ordinary day in the world. But by turning right, you never met the Doctor.” Where had  _that_  come from? “And the whole world just changed around you.”

“Can you get rid of it?!”

“No,” Rose said regretfully. “I can’t even touch it. It seems to be in a state of flux.” That wasn’t the TARDIS. That was just Rose making it up as she went along.

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Rose admitted. “It’s the sort of thing the Doctor would say.”

“You liar!” Donna screamed. “You told me I was special! But it’s not me, it’s this thing! I’m just a host!”

“No there’s more than that,” Rose insisted. “The readings are strange. It’s — it’s like reality’s just bending around you.”

“Because of this thing!”

“No, no!” She didn’t get it. “We’re getting separate readings from you. And they’ve always been there, since the day you were born.”

“This is not relevant to the mission,” Magambo informed Rose. She ignored the woman. It was relevant.

“I thought it was just the Doctor, we needed. But it’s both of you.” Hell if that didn’t sting just the tiniest bit, but Rose wasn’t a bitter person. Her time was done. It was time for the new companion to shine. “The Doctor and Donna Noble, together, to stop the stars from going out.”

“Why?” Donna sounded close to tears. “What can I do?” Rose didn’t have an answer to that. Not yet. “Turn it off,  _please_.”

Rose looked back at Magambo. “Captain.”

“Power down,” Magambo ordered, and the lights faded with a hum. As soon as it was safe, Rose stepped into the circle, going to Donna. The redhead was pale and shaken.

“It’s still there, though.” Her voice was trembling a bit. “What can I do to get rid of it.”

Rose smiled, resting a a hand on her shoulder. “You’re gonna travel through time.”

While the team got ready, Rose pulled Donna off to the side, pulling her into a quick hug. Of course they were interrupted when the scientists came over to put the jacket on her. And Rose quickly slipped back into soldier mode.

“The TARDIS has tracked down the moment of intervention,” she said as she worked at a computer, reading the information off. “Monday the twenty fifth, one minute past ten in the morning. Your car was on Little Sutton Street leading to the Ealing Road, but you turned right heading towards Griffin’s Parade. You need to turn left. That’s the most important thing. You’ve got to go back, turn left. Have you got that, Donna? One minute past ten, make yourself turn left, heading for the Chiswick Highroad.”

“Keep the jacket on at all times,” Magambo added. “It’s insulation against temporal feedback.” As she spoke, a scientist strapped a watch to Donna’s wrist. “This will correspond to local time wherever you land.” She handed Donna a cup of water. “This is to combat dehydration.”

Rose walked with Donna back to the mirrors. “This is where I leave you,” she said gently, and Donna instantly panicked.

“I don’t want to see that thing on my back.”

“No, the mirrors are just incidental,” Rose assured her gently. “They bounce chronon energy back into the centre which we control and decide the destination.”

Donna put the pieces together in her mind. “It’s a time machine.”

Rose grinned. “It’s a time machine.”

“If you could?” Magambo asked. Donna stepped into the middle of the mirrors while Rose hung back on the edge, watching.

“Powering up.”

“How do you know if it’s going to work?” Donna asked suddenly, catching Rose off guard.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, we — we don’t.” Better to be honest. “We’re just…we’re just guessing.”

“Oh, brilliant,” Donna replied sarcastically, but she didn’t try to run. Nothing could be as bad as this world anymore.

“Just remember,” Rose reminded her one more time. “When you get to the junction, change the car’s direction by one minute past ten.”

“How do I do that?” Donna demanded.

“It’s up to you.”

Donna nodded slowly. “Well…I just have to run up to myself and…have a good argument!”

Rose laughed. “I’d like to see that.”

“Active lodestone.”

“Good luck,” Rose told Donna.

“I’m ready.” She sounded confident.

“One minute past ten.” One last reminder.

“Because I understand now.” She almost sounded excited. “You said I was going to die, but you mean this whole world is going to blink out of existence. But that’s not dying, because a better world takes its place. The Doctor’s world. And I’m still alive.” Definitely excited now. “That’s right, isn’t it? I don’t die. If I change things, I don’t die. That’s — that’s right, isn’t it?”

Rose’s smiled faded as Donna spoke. A beat passed between them before she finally said, “I’m sorry.” And Donna’s entire face fell.

“But I can’t die,” she insisted. “I’ve got a future. With the Doctor. You told me!”

“Activate!”

Light overtook the area…and in a flash Donna was gone. Rose stared at the spot for a long moment before walking back to the TARDIS.

“This is then, isn’t it?” Either this worked or it did. Really…she wasn’t sure it mattered anymore.

The dimension cannon beeped, and she pulled it out of her pocket. Time to go. She pressed it without abandon, not caring if anyone saw her disappear.

This was the end anyways.

She landed on Ealing Road, where traffic had backed up. And there was Donna, laying in the road. Dying.

She had done it.

Rose approached carefully, kneeling down beside Donna. She was going back to the Doctor. Rose needed her to take a message. “Tell him this,” she said quietly, leaning in. “Two words.”

She whispered, “ _Bad Wolf_ ,” in Donna’s ear and pushed herself back up again. Donna wouldn’t know what it meant, of course.

But the Doctor would understand.

As Rose stepped away, the world began fade. Donna was dying. The world was collapsing.

She hit the dimension cannon button again, knowing it would work.

It was time to go home.

It felt like she was being sucked through a straw, everything pressing down on her, making it impossible to breathe. She wanted to make a sound, to scream, to do  _something_ …

But she couldn’t.

Finally she landed again, collapsing in a heap as she struggled to pull air into her hollow lungs.  _God_  she hoped that wasn’t going to become a regular thing…

“ _Rose_!”

And then she was being pulled up, crushed against Jackie Tyler’s chest as her mother held her, sobbing.

She was home.


End file.
